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Gwyneth Paltrow knows that the holidays are about bringing families together — even if that includes an ex-lover or a rival media queen.

Paltrow’s 14-year-old lifestyle and wellness company Goop released a video on Wednesday promoting its annual gift guides, curated lists of the finest (and, often, most expensive and impractical) presents.

Suggesting everything from a $239 satin baguette sleeve to a $250,000 vintage Ford Bronco, Paltrow has made it a tradition to tip her hand and reveal what she’s gifting celebrity friends. This year, Santa is bringing the following, according to the video: hand towels featuring the Kama Sutra for Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker; Goopgenes eye de-puffing masks for Brad Pitt; a vibrator for Drew Barrymore; and $30 cured ham from Mercado Famous to upgrade Bella Hadid’s viral Tik Tok sandwich recipe.

“It’s kind of like the North Pole, but way more chic,” Paltrow explains of the rigorous trials the products must endure to get the Goop seal of approval. In a casting flex, Paltrow BFF and unretired leading lady Cameron Diaz shows up in the flesh to taste some French desserts.

Oscar winner Paltrow has been trickling out of show business for the past decade to focus on her role as Goop CEO. She last appeared on screen in the 2020 Ryan Murphy Netflix series “The Politician,” a year after her film swan song “Avengers: Endgame.” She doesn’t need the day job — Goop was last valued at $250 million, recently brokered a deal to stock at all North Sephora stores, and launched the biggest beauty product in its history this year (called Goopglow Dark Spot Exfoliating Sleep Milk).

That shouldn’t suggest she keeps out of the news cycle. For nearly 10 years, a perceived rivalry with Martha Stewart has generated headlines (beginning in 2014 when Stewart slammed Goop and Paltrow’s ambitions, saying she “needs to be quiet…If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart”).

At the end of Wednesday’s ad, Paltrow is about to peel off in a vintage Benz when her phone rings.

“Gwyneth, Martha Stewart is on the line,” an assistant says. After Paltrow says she’s “gotta take this,” the staffer says ominously: “It sounds urgent.”

Could reconciliation be at hand? It may take a holiday miracle. Read the full Goop Gift Guides here.