Ricky Gervais Rips Scorsese, DiCaprio and ‘Cats’ in Expletive-Laden Golden Globes Monologue

Ricky Gervais unsurprisingly pulled no punches in his Golden Globes opening monologue on Sunday night.

Gervais has never been shy about taking shots at Hollywood during his past appearances at the Golden Globes and this year was no exception. Among those targeted by the caustic comedian were Martin Scorsese, Felicity Huffman, the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., Leonardo DiCaprio, and superhero movies. It’s the fifth time he’s hosted the annual ceremony.

He also made a passing reference to the recent controversy in which he had tweeted several jokes about trans women. He expressed surprise that he was asked to host the awards show again, saying that “Kevin Hart was fired for some offensive tweets” — before indicating himself and saying, “Hello.”

Read some of the best (and worst) jokes from the monologue below.

  • “I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. … It’s her daughter I feel sorry for, OK? That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her. And her dad was in ‘Wild Hogs.'”
  • “So lots of big celebrities here tonight. I mean, legend, icons, yeah? This table alone Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Baby Yoda … Oh, that’s Joe Pesci! I love you, man; don’t have me whacked.”
  • “In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world, people from every background. But they all have one thing in common: They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you.”
  • “Look, talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile films — ‘Surviving R. Kelly,’ ‘Leaving Neverland,’ ‘Two Popes.'”
  • “Everyone’s watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out, ‘You win everything, Netflix, good night.’ No, we drag it out three hours! You could binge watch ‘Afterlife’ instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer — and it’ still more fun than this.”
  • “‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ was nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end his date was too old for him.”
  • “The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie ‘Cats,’ but no one saw that.”
  • “Dame Judi Dench defended [‘Cats’] saying it was the role she was born to play because she — I can’t do this next joke,” Gervais laughed before continuing. “Because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her own minge.”
  • “So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech, right? You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. If you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and f— off.”

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