×

‘Saturday Night Live’ Takes on College Admissions Scandal and Julian Assange (Watch)

Michael Keaton appeared in the April 13 “Saturday Night Live” cold open sketch as Julian Assange to counter Kate McKinnon’s Lori Loughlin and Pete Davidson’s Michael Avenatti for who committed the “craziest” crime.

In a take on MSNBC’s “Lockup,” a couple of inmates (played by Chris Redd, Kenan Thompson and Kyle Mooney) were comparing notes about whose crimes were the most serious, when McKinnon as Loughlin strolled by, telling the guys she paid $500,000 to get her daughter into USC and getting a women’s crew coach to say she was good at rowing.

“I’m loco,” she said. “That’s not including the $300,000 I blew on tuition.”

When she then pointed out that her daughter majored in communications and was working as an Instagram influencer, Thompson had enough and called for the guards to take her away.

“Hey, I own the guards in here. I helped their kids get into a really competitive pre-K,” she said.

She then put on a kufi and said she bought her way into Islam for $100,000 “plus another 100 for them to stop calling me ‘the white devil.'”

Although Thompson didn’t think she’d last a week in prison, she wasn’t worried. “You think prison is hard? I’ve done 68 Hallmark movies,” she said. “I’ve seen hell, man. And in half those Hallmark movies I married Santa’s son, so I’ve lost all sense of reality.”

After McKinnon’s Loughlin, it was Davidson’s Avenatti’s turn, posturing his own success and crimes by saying he was accused of things “you can’t even conceive of, like blackmailing a sneaker company and stealing taxes from a coffee shop to fund a race car team. And I’m so shady that a porn star once said she had to distance herself from me.”

Davidson also offered the only political comment of the sketch, noting he might still run for president: “Avenatti/Baldwin, 2020,” he said.

Keaton as Assange was a surprise third entry, first confused for “Santa [who’s] back on crack,” per Thompson.

“That’s right it’s me. I’m the architect of anarchy; I’m the king of chaos; I’m the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian Embassy,” he said.

When Mooney said he didn’t think he looked so tough, Keaton as Assange rebutted with, “I hope you’re proud of every single photo in your iCloud because boom, all your ding-dong pics just went on the internet.”

But how crazy was he, really? In his own words, he is a “James Bond supervillain” who is “one step away from destroying the g– damn moon.”

And in the end they decided it was Keaton’s Assange who won, even over Melissa Villasenor’s Tekashi 6ix9ine, who popped up at the end with “just robbery and gun stuff.”

Watch the April 13 cold open below:

Saturday Night Live” airs live coast-to-coast at 11:30 p.m. ET / 8:30 p.m. PT on NBC.

More TV

  • Amazon Reveals Title, Judges of Heidi

    Amazon Reveals Title, Judges for Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn Fashion Series

    Amazon has revealed its upcoming fashion competition series, hosted by Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, will be titled “Making The Cut.” The streamer also announced that the judges and guest judges for the series will include Naomi Campbell, Nicole Richie, Carine Roitfeld and Joseph Altuzarra. The series is set to premiere on Amazon Prime Video [...]

  • NRA TV

    NRA Scuttles Original Production for Streaming-Video Site

    The NRA will shut down production of new content for its streaming-video NRATV outlet, The New York Times reports. The report said the gun-rights lobbying organization may continue to run older content on the broadband outlet, but it will no longer feature Dana Loesch and other regular hosts in live programming. The demise of programming [...]

  • monty-python-are-fifty-in-2019

    Previously Unreleased Monty Python Audio to Get Airing for Troupe's 50th Anniversary

    Michael Palin will exec-produce series of radio specials containing never-before-released audio from Monty Python as part of the 50th anniversary celebrations for the iconic comedy troupe. They will play on the BBC in the U.K. and then go out in the U.S. Palin and his fellow Pythons – John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry [...]

  • TV News Hopes NBC's Democrat Debate

    TV News Hopes NBC's Democrat Debate Spurs More Than a Political Windfall

    NBC News is gearing up to cover two sprawling Democratic debates. But the trappings around them may remind viewers of another network staple: “Sunday Night Football.” NBCUniversal will televise debates among the Democratic candidates for U.S. presidency over two nights and across three different TV networks, as well as via host of digital venues, including [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content