“This is a big one, so I don’t want to waste any time,” Baldwin as Donald Trump said during a parody of a NBC News special report during the Feb. 16 cold open of the late-night sketch comedy show. Going on to claim he was over six feet talk and “shredded,” he also reminded viewers of the upcoming summit in Hanoi with Chairman Kim who “is a very cool, misunderstood guy.”
But quickly he reminded of his mission by saying, “We need wall, OK?
“There’s a tremendous amount of drugs flowing into this country — from the southern border, or the ‘brown line’ as many people have asked me not to call it,” he continued. “Wall works. Wall make safe. You don’t have to be smart to understand that, and in fact it’s even easier to understand if you’re not that smart.”
During his monologue he also admitted to having to “fake” the national emergency and considered using the death penalty for non-violent crimes before launching into a take on Trump’s own sing-song list of events to come, including that he knew he would sign these papers, “immediately be sued, the ruling will not go in my favor and then I’ll end up in the Supreme Court, and then I’ll call my buddy Kavanaugh, and I’ll say it’s time to repay the Donny, and he’ll say, ‘New phone, who dis?'”
He later took some questions from cast members such as Cecily Strong and Mikey Day, who were playing reporters, even threatening to build a wall around one from CNN (played by Kyle Mooney).
“Come on, doll, I’m learning,” was his answer to one political inquiry. “Let’s not forget, technically this is my first job, OK? I remember when Obama explained presidency to me in the Oval Office, and I won’t do the voice this time…but I thought Obama was joking. Had I known then what I know now, I would have told Putin to just give the job to Hillary instead.”
And he introduced Beck Bennett as new Attorney General William Barr, who he called “dead man walking.”
Baldwin as Trump said he was “basically taking military money so I can has wall” and noted soon enough the Robert Mueller investigation report would be released, “crumbling my house of cards,” to which he would “plead insanity” and eventually “my personal hell of playing president will finally be over.”
Watch the Feb. 16 cold open below:
“Saturday Night Live” airs live coast-to-coast Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. ET / 8:30 p.m. PT on NBC.