×

The Best Jokes From Seth Meyers’ Golden Globes Monologue

Seth Meyers hosted the 75th annual Golden Globes for the first time on Sunday, and he didn’t back away from Hollywood’s recent sexual harassment allegations in his opening monologue.

With help from Jessica Chastain, Billy Eichner, Issa Rae and Amy Poehler, Meyers took on controversies surrounding Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and Donald Trump.

While the host also included serious moments in his monologue, addressing the Time’s Up initiative and praising women who had led the charge against sexual harassment, Meyer’s also included a number of timely zingers.

Here are Meyers’ best monologue jokes:

“It’s 2018, marijuana is finally allowed, and sexual harassment finally isn’t. It’s gonna be a good year!”

“This was the year of big little lies and get out — and also television series ‘Big Little Lies’ and the movie ‘Get Out.’”

“There’s a new era underway, and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man has been this nervous in Hollywood. For the male nominees in the room tonight, this will be the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.”

“A string of three words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president — Hollywood Foreign Press Association . The only name that could make his angrier is the ‘Hillary Mexico Salad Association.'”

“Time to address the elephant not in the room: Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight because, well, I’ve heard crazy he’s difficult to work with. Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he’s the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam.”

“They’re going to do another season of ‘House of Cards.’ Is Christopher Plummer available for that too? I hope he can do a southern accent because Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t.”

“‘The Shape of Water’ received the most nominations of any film this year. When I first heard about a film where a woman falls in love with a hideous monster, I thought it was a Woody Allen movie.”

In a mimic of his “Late Night” bit — Jokes Seth Can’t Tell — as a straight, white man, Meyers teamed up with Eicher to set up this joke: “‘Call Me by Your Name’ is nominated for best motion picture. It’s a gay coming of age film.” Eichner: “Said Kevin Spacey: ‘You lost me at ‘of age.'”

More TV

  • Daniel Sandu Cristian Mungiu

    HBO Europe Greenlights Crime Caper 'Tuff Money' From Cristian Mungiu’s Mobra Films

    HBO Europe has greenlit original series “Tuff Money” (“Bani Negri”), a six-part crime caper from Cristian Mungiu’s Mobra Films, the company behind Mungiu’s Palme d’Or winner “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” and HBO Europe’s “Hackerville.” “Tuff Money” has been written and will be directed by Daniel Sandu, the writer and director of the [...]

  • INVISIBLE HEROES

    Sanfic Adds Drama Series Strand as Chilean TV Builds (EXCLUSIVE)

    Adding to the momentum of Chile’s energetic push into upscale TV production, the Santiago Intl. Film Festival (Sanfic) is adding a TV strand, Sanfic Series. Focusing on drama series and part of the Sanfic Industry forum – after Ventana Sur now one of the biggest of any festival in South America – the section will [...]

  • AMC’s Streamer Acorn TV Hires Kerensa

    AMC-Owned Streamer Acorn TV Hires Former Filmstruck Exec as International Boss

    Former Filmstruck International general manager Kerensa Samanidis has been appointed Acorn TV’s first international chief. As general manager, international, she will spearhead the growth of the AMC Networks-owned streamer outside of North America and Latin America. Last year, Acorn TV expanded into Australia, and New Zealand, Argentina, Mexico, Spain, and Scandinavia. In the newly-created international [...]

  • miptv-conference-room

    MipTV Organizers Unveil Transformation Plan for 2020

    MipTV is moving inside the Palais des Festivals in Cannes as market organizers attempt to ensure that the April vent remains relevant in the face of falling attendance, increased competition and wider industry changes. Reed Midem organizes MipTV and its better-attended sibling, Mipcom, in October. After this year’s MipTV, it reached out to distributors, many [...]

  • LEONOR-WATLING-AND-JAIME-LORENTE

    Amazon Prime Video Reveals Three Spanish Originals, Drops Sergio Ramos Doc Trailer

    MADRID — Amazon Prime Video has announced a slate of three new Spanish original series set for 2020, which will strengthen the streamer’s domestic catalog in the country. It also shared the first trailer for its second Spanish soccer docu-series “El corazón de Sergio Ramos” (The Heart of Sergio Ramos). In “El Cid,” popular Spanish [...]

  • Maya Hawke'Once Upon a Time in

    Maya Hawke Reflects on Robin's 'Stranger Things' Coming Out Story

    Robin Buckley shocked viewers everywhere when she came out as a lesbian to Steve Harrington on the floor of a bathroom stall, but actress Maya Hawke says the twist wasn’t always set in stone. Hawke tells Variety that it wasn’t until episode four or five that she and the Duffer Brothers came to a final decision [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content