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The Best Jokes From Colin Jost, Michael Che’s Emmys Monologue

Following a song and dance about diversity in the TV industry featuring Kate McKinnon, Kenan Thompson, Ricky Martin, Sterling K. Brown, Kristen Bell and John Legend, Colin Jost and Michael Che took the Emmy stage in a monologue centering on the Trump administration, the #MeToo movement and Roseanne Barr.

The two, who serve as anchors of “SNL’s” “Weekend Update” segment, were in familiar territory tackling politics, but also branched out to tease about Netflix’s Emmys domination and perpetual tear-jerker “This Is Us.”

Here are the best jokes from Jost and Che’s Emmy monologue:

  • “This year the audience is allowed to drink in their seats, because the one thing Hollywood needs right now is people losing their inhibitions at a work function.”
  • “The first Emmys were back in 1949, and things were very different back then. Gas was 17 cents a gallon, a new home cost $7000, and we all agreed that Nazis were bad.”
  • “Our network NBC has the most nominations of any broadcast network, which is kind of like being the sexiest person on life support, it’s not great.”
  • “Netflix has the most nominations tonight, and if you’re a network executive, that’s the scariest thing you could possibly hear except maybe ‘Sir, Ronan Farrow is on line one.’ You don’t want that call.”
  • “‘This Is Us’ is nominated for best drama. Milo is here, he plays Jack on the show. The next season will explore Jack’s experiences in Vietnam, and this was in response to viewers who wrote in and said ‘Sadder, please.'”
  • “‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ was cancelled by Fox but picked up by NBC. ‘Last Man Standing’ was cancelled by ABC and picked up by Fox, and ‘Roseanne’ was cancelled by herself but picked up by white nationalists.”
  • “How is Netflix getting all of that money? It’s like $9 a month and everyone I know is sharing the same account.”
  • On new diverse reboots: “It’s going to get balanced out by an all-white reboot of ‘Atlanta’ called ’15 Miles Outside of Atlanta.’ It focus on white women who call the police on the cast of ‘Atlanta.’

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