Remember all your least favorite parts from this season of “The Bachelorette”? If you watched Monday night’s “Men Tell All” episode, you got to relive them all, and more! Remember Whaboom? Yep, he “whabooms” all over the place. DeMario? Still throwing his ex under the bus, then tossing the bus into reverse just in case he missed a spot. Kenny and Lee? Oh my, there is … so much Kenny and Lee.
Chris Harrison kicked off the episode by saying that this season was so intense that they had to hire extra security — “I even spent a few extra days in the gym,” he joked? Give that writer a raise!
He then introduced a montage of the most “memorable Men Tell All moments.” Like the time they played up the relationship between two straight men to gaybait the audience and then use it as a punch line, or when they engaged in the totally archaic tradition that is finding out the sex of a baby, on the air. But, come on, grumpy ol’ me! That was then and this is now, and all your faves are back — like Adam (that guy who made it really far and no one knew his name), Jack Stone (the bro who turned into a creepy meme), and Dean (who gets the loudest applause by far).
There’s a lot to get to, so no more holding back. Here are the most important moments from the episode.
1. Adam bombs
It’s always fun to see which dudes come prepared. Historically, it’s been the guys who didn’t get a ton of screen time and see the “Men Tell All” episode as a shot at redemption. This time, it was Adam, who jumped in pretty early on to deliver this clunker: “There was so much Whaboom, and it should have been Wha-bye.” Yikes.
2. DeMario’s defense
Early on this season, Rachel booted DeMario after a woman showed up and claimed to still be in a relationship with the contestant. Speaking of prepared, DeMario had a few lines at the ready. “By your guys logic, I was dating Beyonce,” he said … one hundred roses if someone can give a satisfactory explanation of what he meant by that. “I have text messages with everyone,” he added. And later, “Bill Clinton has sex with Monica, but …” and then I lost the last part because it was bleeped out, but you get the idea.
3. Kenny and Lee: Part 1
“If ya’ll were sick of seeing Lee, I was sick of living it,” Kenny said about his rival on the season whose racist, sexist social media activity caused a great big stir off-air, and so it began. The first part of Kenny and Lee’s having to address their feud was a little disorganized, but here are the key takeaways: Dean said Kenny “might have been the most well-liked guy in the house” and apparently no one liked Lee; Kenny said Lee’s actions “didn’t feel like racism,” but like the contestant felt “out of his league”; and Lee made some sort of apology to Kenny.
4. Kenny and Lee: Part 2
Next, Kenny sat next to Chris Harrison, and in front of the other men. Kenny’s daughter McKenzie made a surprise appearance. “I didn’t like the fact that he was leaving me for too long,” she said. So sweet … I think? Chris Harrison announced ABC was giving them a trip to Disneyland because there’s nothing quite as magical as synergy.
5. Kenny and Lee: Part 3
Finally, Lee took the hot seat. Wooooboy, this was a toughie. Lee seemed pretty well-rehearsed to present his apology in a way that attempted to absolve himself of his repulsive tweets and actions, without admitting or apologizing for being a racist or misogynist. He tried to pass off his comparing the NAACP to the KKK as a joke, and articulated some twisted apologetic-sounding statements like, “When I saw that [the tweets] came out, it hurt me a lot.” More than once he tried to say that his tweet was cut off, so people only saw half of his statement, which — unless the second part said “… is a very racist and dangerous thing to say, and I reject anyone who feels this way” — seemed like a really bizarre excuse.
Lee denounced the tweets, which prompted Dean to question why he didn’t do so earlier. Anthony (one last shoutout to my fellow Wildcat) asked Lee to acknowledge his implicit racism. And right around 71 minutes into the episode we got a “That tweet was racist,” out of Lee, which seemed to satisfy some people? This segment somehow ended with hugs and reconciliation.
6. Dean comes clean
After Dean’s hometown date, there was much speculation (and I am complicit in this) about why he and his dad — who he hadn’t spoken with in two years — would want to have a major confrontation on network television. But Dean gave a pretty satisfying explanation. For one, he said he wanted Rachel to see the “real side of everything” before he potentially proposed. And in retrospect, even though he was eliminated following the date, he said he didn’t think he “ever would have expressed the feelings that I had suppressed for so long” and now sees a path to resolution. The cynical side of me thinks he’s just gunning to be the next “Bachelor,” but until that announcement drops, this was a nice moment.
7. Rachel extends her branches
Rachel entered the stage to reunite with the losers she sent home. Did she miss them? “Not all of them,” she said with laugh. Chris Harrison mentioned DeMario and Rachel replied “Who?” and then “Oh, shade. The branches are out.” Sorry, that’s all for this bullet point, but the last few felt so serious and long-winded. Just trying to mix it up! Happy to report that Rachel’s still great.
8. Rachel and Lee
Rachel has been pretty vocal on social media regarding her disapproval of Lee’s damning tweets, so it wasn’t a surprise that she would address them on air as well. “You can meet me backstage, and I’d be more than happy to give you a black history lesson, a lesson on women’s rights,” she told him. After a while, Chris Harrison insinuated that Lee was off the hook for having to take so much heat on air, and Lee seemed to like that idea. That’s giving him way too much credit for doing the bare minimum and going about his apology in a pretty sneaky way, but hopefully this means we never have to see him again!
9. Rachel addresses the unknowns
Ah, Adam and … oh my goodness, I am not lying, I had to google his name again … Matt. These two men were the butt of many a joke for making it far on the season while getting almost zero screen time. But Rachel stuck up for them like the perfect human she is. “You weren’t brought along that long by accident,” Rachel said, and added that she wished America got to see what she had with each of them.
No “Men Tell All” special is complete without them! I’ll drop the link here if ABC ends up releasing the montage. It’s mostly Rachel tripping.