×
You will be redirected back to your article in seconds

‘The Bachelor’ Recap: One Shocking Dismissal, Two Big Confessions & the First of Three Nights in the Fantasy Suite

Why did it feel like just as much happened during Monday night’s one-hour episode of “The Bachelor” as usually happens during an installment twice as long? Are we all being scammed? That second question is rhetorical. But the answer to the first begins with the same person who left us hanging last week: Andi Dorfman.

“Who is Andi Dorfman?” is a very google-able question but, to keep you on the page, here why she’s still (somewhat) relevant. Andi was the “Bachelorette” when Nick Viall first appeared on the franchise. He made it to the final two before she chose someone else. Then he called her out for having sex with him on national television in an arguably rude way. She wrote about him in her book. Blah, blah, blah, seasons later she’s still popping in to remind us that she exists.

The show hypes up Andi’s appearance like she’s going to say or do something dramatic. She does no such thing. But she does serve a semi-important purpose in setting up the rest of the hour — the beginning of “fantasy suites” week — because it’s 2017 and “The Bachelor” now allows the word “sex”!

“Are you going to have sex with any of them?” she asks Nick, who says he’s not sure. Andi tells him that, if he sees a future with the woman and she consents, he should go for it. She calls it her “feminist rant” as Bell Hooks swiftly revises the title of her book to “Feminism Is for Everybody Except People Who Appear on ‘The Bachelor.'”

But before Nick can take anyone to the “fantasy suite,” he has to eliminate one of the four remaining women. It has been about two weeks since ABC confirmed that Rachel will be the next “Bachelorette,” so it seems obvious that she would be the next to go, right? Wrong.

Who can say why Nick does what he does next — Was it the olive? Does he not like it when women buy him expensive clothes? Did Raquel whisper “save me” in his ear off-camera? That’s right… it’s time to say goodbye to Corinne who, before now, was starting to seem like Nick’s most viable match.

The breakdown that follows seems inevitable. Corinne burst into tears while standing next to the final three. But in the limo, flooded with emotion, the bouncy castle scheme-stress makes one last surprising move — she delivers a multi-million dollar monologue that puts Andi’s “feminist rant” to shame (… and makes me almost want to take back that Bell Hooks reference from a few paragraphs ago)!

“Saying goodbye to Nick… I feel my heart is never going to be repaired,” she says. “I just want to feel loved — the way it’s supposed to be. The normal way. Why can’t I just have a normal relationship?” she asks.

“I’m done trying to show my men how much I worship them… I need that. I’m done trying to impress these men. I will never kiss up to man for the rest of my life,” she resolves, and promptly goes to sleep.

Anyway, who’s excited for “Bachelor in Paradise”?

With Corinne out of the picture, the final three join Nick on a trip to Finland (also known as the “most northern place” that Nick has ever been). Raven is the only date we get to watch before the episode ends, but she does not disappoint.

Raven and Nick start their date in Finland at a local pub. Lest anyone be confused, the place is literally called “local pub.” Shout-out to the location scout who found that one. Nick and Raven banter about whether one should steam or iron their clothes. Seems like as good of a time as any to remind you that This. Television. Show. Gets. Amazing. Ratings.

But domestic chatter aside, Raven has two confessions to make:

1. She loves him, and has never said “I love you” to anyone before.
2. She has only had sex with one person before, and he never made her orgasm.

Corinne got all the credit for her crazy stunts, but no contestant this season is naturally better for reality television than Raven “I-picked-up-her-stiletto-and-beat-him-with-it” Gates. Before the episode wraps, she masterfully delivers both pieces of intel to Nick who, true to form, goes in for a kiss and gives her the key to his pants… er, heart — the “fantasy suite” awaits. It seems highly unlikely that Vanessa and Rachel will be able to top this week, but this is “The Bachelor” and only time will tell.

More TV

  • 'Walking Dead' Profits Dispute Heading to

    'Walking Dead' Profits Dispute Heading to Trial

    The long-running legal battle between Frank Darabont and AMC over profits from “The Walking Dead” will run a bit longer, as a judge ruled Monday that the case must go to trial. Darabont and CAA sued the network back in 2013, arguing he was deprived of $280 million in profit participation because AMC did not [...]

  • CBS Studios Exterior

    CBS Sells Television City Production Studio

    CBS sold its venerable Television City production facility, one of Hollywood’s most storied production studios, in a deal the company says will give it more flexibility to invest in content for digital audiences. CBS said Monday it signed a definitive agreement to sell the sound stages and studios that have hosted programs ranging from “All [...]

  • Filmax Snags Top Spanish Kids Feature

    Filmax Snags Top Spanish Kids Feature ‘The Lunnis’ (EXCLUSIVE)

    Barcelona-based sales agency Filmax announced today at Argentina’s Ventana Sur market, that it has acquired the rights to the film adaptation of RTVE’s preschool children’s part-puppet, part-live action and part-animated kids’ show “The Lunnis,” titled “The Lunnis and the Great Fairy Tales Adventure.” The announcement was made with an accompanying trailer for the film, slated [...]

  • Jean Marc Vallee

    Jean-Marc Vallée to Direct 'Gorilla and the Bird' Limited Series at HBO

    Jean-Marc Vallée has lined up yet another HBO project. Vallée has signed on to direct and executive produce the limited series “Gorilla And The Bird,” based on the memoir of the same name by  Zack McDermott, at the premium cabler. It is described as an inspirational tale of a mother’s unconditional love for her bipolar [...]

  • Joanna Klein Jennie Urman

    Jennie Snyder Urman, Joanna Klein Launch Prodco at CBS Television Studios

    “Jane The Virgin” creator Jennie Snyder Urman and development executive Joanna Klein have partnered to launch their own production company, Sutton St. Productions, Variety has learned. The duo has multiple projects in development under their new production banner, including the comedies “You’re Killing Me” for streaming service CBS All Access and “Riches to Rags,” which is in [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content