“It seems like every day a new man is being accused of sexual misconduct,” he began on “The Late Show.” “But not today. Today it’s the same man.”
Colbert recapped the allegations from the latest woman — a Congressional aide — who said Franken tried to forcibly kiss her after a taping of his radio show, ending with an alleged quote from Franken: “It’s my right as an entertainer!”
“No, it isn’t,” Colbert said. “I’m an entertainer and I happen to always carry a copy of the Bill of Rights for entertainers.” Colbert explained that entertainers have the rights to ride the rides at Disneyland ahead of children, skip the security at airports, and get free Apple stuff.
“Now, Franken says this allegation is categorically not true, but this accusation appears to be the straw that groped the camel’s back.” A newsreel played of multiple newscasters announcing the number of senators calling for Franken’s resignation, a number that grew steadily higher with each newscaster, until Colbert took over: “Do I hear 31? 32? Sold — to make room for the gentleman from Alabama!”