SPOILER ALERT: Do not read on unless you’ve seen Season 6, episode 7 of “American Horror Story,” titled “Chapter 7.”
Previously, on “American Horror Story”: The true villain of Season 6 was revealed to be sociopathic reality TV producer Sidney James.
Currently, on “American Horror Story”: We’re down one cast member, the too-ginger-for-this-world Rory Monahan, who played Edward in “My Roanoke Nightmare.” He was killed to death by the Murder Twin Nurses.
In the “Return to Roanoke” production trailer outside, Sid is watching Matt and Dominic’s fistfight but misses Rory’s death even though it’s right on the screen in front of him.
A production assistant screams outside; Sid finds her gushing arterial blood from a slashed throat but makes sure to get the camera guy to come out to get it on camera. It’s the Butcher! Or rather, Crazy Agnes, who played the Butcher and got a little too deep. She slashes Sid and the camera guy for good and delivers her line about being the tree, lightning, etc.
British Audrey Tindall can’t find Rory’s body — it’s disappeared. The cast forms a search party. Lee does not trust the cameras installed by Sid’s crew and is filming every single second on the phone given to her by the production. They find a mass of blood. Audrey thinks Rory has departed in a less figurative way and delivers a genuinely affecting confessional about the age difference between them being like climbing Everest. “I guess he just ran out of oxygen,” she says sadly.
Agnes is losing her mind (or what’s left of it) in the Butcher’s underground lair, in front of a camera, slipping in and out of that Butcher accent: “It was my destiny. They chose me. I was the fan favorite. All my life people have underestimated me. They only booked me for three episodes, but I got five, because the fans wanted me.”
“Something just don’t feel right about this,” Monet says, swigging liquor and staring at the word “MURDER” painted in blood on the wall. Dominic attempts to sell Shelby on having a real relationship with him, though she is not having it. “Sure, I care about Shelby, but Sidney paid me to come back for one reason, and one reason only: ratings.” Yeah, we all saw the ratings for “People v. O.J.,” Cuba. Sidney has given Dominic a body cam. Dominic has been watching too much Prestige Drama and believes the villain is always the main character of every story.
Shelby’s trying to have a nice quiet breakdown when Agnes in full-on Butcher mode comes up behind her and manages to strike a nasty blow on Shelby’s back. Shelby, knowing she’s about to die, whips out her phone so the world will know who killed her.
Dominic is not a very good villain, because he totally saves Shelby by tackling Agnes just before she strikes her death blow, though she mysteriously disappears in the ensuing chaos. Luckily for Shelby, Audrey had some nurse training and knows how to wrap her up, at least.
Lee, Monet and Audrey make the decision to leave the house through a secret passage to find Sidney and try and force him to call an ambulance, leaving Dominic and Matt to care for Shelby. Lee brought a gun, because she’s no dummy (though she doesn’t take into account the fact that ghosts are impervious to bullets). The ghost of Edward appears in the passage and freaks the heck out of everyone. Lee tries to shoot it and fails, because it’s a ghost, but all three do emerge from the passage into the late afternoon sun.
Matt tells Shelby he hasn’t felt human since they moved in the house; their marriage ended the day they set foot on the property.
The ladies finally find Sid and the other two bodies, who are definitely dead, just as darkness falls and the Blood Moon rises. Somehow there’s no phone anywhere on the bodies or in the car or the trailer. Agnes runs hollering out of the woods, and Lee shoots her in the chest.
So that’s one threat taken care of. But soon a troupe of torch-bearers come down the road and Rory is strung up in a tree with his entrails hung out and everything goes to heck as the three are taken by men with cattle prods.
Lee’s bullet to the chest did not kill Agnes, who made her way back to her underground lair and removed the bullet. “Only ashes will remain at the end of this night,” she rants.
Matt wakes next to Shelby (not like that), disturbed by something, seemingly in the state of a sleepwalker. Dominic follows him and sees Matt taken by Lady Gaga’s Witch. But see, he wants to be taken: “I’m in love with her!” he tells Shelby, and maybe it’s the blood loss, or there was a secret rage-wad inside her his whole time, but Shelby bashes Matt’s brains out with a crowbar in a fashion that would have made Negan on “The Walking Dead” proud, but was just as much of an overreaction.
The men with cattle prods are pot growers, led by a snaggletoothed matriarch. They strap Lee to a chair, rub her leg down with oil and spices, and then stab it with a carving fork.
Shelby is trying to cope with the fact that she just Negan’d the love of her life, and Dominic is not doing a great job of calming her down. He tells her to turn herself in, which she can’t fathom, even though the murder was caught from just about every camera angle.
The pot growers are doing some coke and torturing the captured Audrey and Monet, feeding them parts of Lee.
Agnes is about to burn down the house, joined by the Old Tyme Townsfolk bearing torches — and the real Butcher. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to be on TV,” Agnes pleads before taking a cleaver right down the skull.
Well, that was a blood bath. Here’s who’s left alive: Shelby, Dominic, Monet, Audrey, and, judging by the promo for next week, Lee. And the pot-growing cannibals. Now it’s a real party.