YOUR MAMA’S NOTES: Almost two years after they split up or, in their own airy-fairy New Age-y parlance, consciously uncoupled, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have finally decided to separate themselves from not just one but two luxury apartments the fancy-pants River Lofts complex in lower Manhattan’s ever-more frightfully pricey Tribeca neighborhood. As was first sussed out by the tirelessly vigilant kids at Curbed, the larger of the two condos, a double-terraced penthouse, was listed this week with an asking price of $14.25 million and the smaller, on another and lower floor, also came up for sale with a $3.35 million price tag. The remarkably and admirably amicable though not-yet-divorced former couple hope to almost double their money on the smaller unit, acquired in March 2009 for $1.925, and have their real estate fingers crossed they can just about triple their dinero on the penthouse they picked up two years earlier, in March 2007, for $5.1 million.
The 3,892-square-foot, three-bedroom and 3.5-bathroom penthouse, which transfers with monthly taxes and common charges of nearly $10,000 per listing details, was worked over in a whimsically sumptuous and some might say girlishly-glam manner by the talented decorative and design dervishes at Roman & Williams. And, although online marketing materials don’t currently include photographs, over the years numerous and sundry images of the penthouse have popped up all over the internet. With smoothly chatoyant and, let’s be honest, butter beans, ferociously impractical snow-white painted floors, the sunny, top-floor aerie opens to a “dramatic and welcoming entryway,” according to listing details, with huge skylight and transom topped antique glass paneled doors that connect through to an also generously sky-lit library. The unquestionably commodious, 650-plus-square-foot combination living/dining room has floor-to-ceiling windows and glass doors that lead to a ten-foot wide and 46-plus-foot-long east-facing terrace while the adjacent kitchen, also with floor-to-ceiling windows and glass doors that open to the terrace, features a massive, marble-sheathed center work island and a party-sized, pale plum upholstered dining banquette that seats up to a dozen. A pair of en suite guest bedrooms, which can be opened to each other with double pocket doors, share the west end of the penthouse with the plushly appointed master suite that, in addition to five custom-fitted closets, features an entrance vestibule lined with embroidered panels, a sky-lit bathroom with heated marble floors, and, in the bedroom, a custom pressed tin ceiling and glass doors to a slender, semi-private terrace.
The smaller apartment, perhaps purchased for family, friends or staff, measures in per listing details at 1,676-square-feet and encompasses a nearly 34-foot-long combination living/dining room open to an expensively appointed kitchen. There are two en suite bedrooms — the master has a closet-lined dressing corridor and a larger bathroom — plus a completely windowless room just off the entrance hall set up, per listing details, as a third and presumably very dark “sleeping area.” Other notable features include Brazilian walnut hardwood floors, a convenient laundry closet off the kitchen, and an integrated speaker system.
To be honest, butter beans, we’re not quite sure who exactly lives where when it comes to the Paltrow-Martins but our research suggests that together and separately they maintain a heavy-duty handful of high-maintenance homes on at least two continents. Despite numerous reports that they wanted to sell, as far as this property gossip can tell they continue to own a 33-room mansion in London’s Belsize Park area where they severely peeved some of their neighbors with extensive and incessant renovations. Back in the U.S., on the East Coast, they continue to own a 2-plus acre estate with an approximately 6,800-square-foot cedar shingled “cottage” in the East Hampton hamlet of Amagansett that was snatched up in 2007 for $5.4 million and on the West Coast their holdings include an 8,000-square-foot, Windsor Smith-designed mansion in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles bought in June 2012 for $9.95 million as well as very contemporary John Lautner-designed digs in the celebrity-favored Point Dume area in Malibu acquired for $14 million in March 2014, right about the time they — ahem — consciously uncoupled.
Floor plans: Corcoran