BUYER: Rachel Dratch
LOCATION: New York City, NY
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
YOUR MAMA’S NOTES: Though authentically amusing in a fetching myriad of ways, “Saturday Night Live” alumna Rachel Dratch shelled out $1.65 million, as was first sussed out by the savvy celebrity property gossips at 6sqft.com, for a reasonably roomy if personality-free low-floor co-operative apartment in a luxuriously full service but antiseptically nondescript postwar apartment block in a convenient downtown nexus where the Gramercy Park, Union Square and East Village neighborhoods converge around historic Stuyvesant Square.
The parquet-floored two-bedroom and two-bathroom apartment, a sane if unimaginative combination of a one-bedroom and an alcove studio with bulgy monthly maintenance fees of $2,525 per listing details, does provide a proper entrance hall and a boxy or more accurately rectilinear combination living/dining/kitchen space that stretches to nearly 30-foot long and opens at its northern end to a loggia that overlooks Stuyvesant Square. Both of the south-facing bedrooms are generous for New York City — one, which listing details make a point to call out will accommodate a king sized bed, has a spacious walk-in closet — and flank a windowed, prison cell-sized shared office that would also be well suited as a private dressing room for the larger of the two bedrooms since the office space must be passed through in order to access one of the two windowless bathrooms. The other bathroom, which opens off the L-shaped hall that links the main living space to the bedrooms, has been renovated with hexagonal marble floor tiles and a glass-fronted walk-in shower. Residents of the 13-story white brick building benefit from convenient subway access, 24-hour doormen, an on-site valet parking garage, and a roof deck with unimpeded city views.
Best known, perhaps, for her hilariously pessimistic SNL character Debbie Downer, Miz Dratch currently does voiceover work on the animated series “The Awesomes,” pops up regularly on quirky, comedian-driven sitcoms like “Difficult People” and “Inside Amy Schumer,” and will appear next year with Alan Cumming and season six “RuPaul’s Drag Race” winner Bianca Del Rio in the feature length drag comedy “Hurricane Bianca.”
Listing photos and floor plan: Corcoran