SELLER: Johnny Depp
LOCATION: Plan-de-la-Tour, France
PRICE: €23.056 million ($25.919 million)
SIZE: (approx.) 10,763 square feet, 12 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms (total)

YOUR MAMA’S NOTES: As has been reported far and wide — bear with us while we do a little bit of mid-summer celebrity real estate catch-up — American actor Johnny Depp has his private village near Plan-de-la-Tour, France, up for grabs with an asking price of €23.056 million, an amount that Your Mama’s currency conversion contraption shows comes to $25.919 million at today’s rates. The three-time Oscar nominee and his former partner/baby momma, French actress and singer Vanessa Paradis, acquired the approximately 37-acre rural spread, about 10 or 12 miles from the glitzy, yacht-choked harbor in St. Tropez, in 2001 for an unknown amount and, so the reportage goes, over the next 14 or 15 years shelled out around $10 million to restore and update the property’s numerous and sundry stone-built structures that date back to the early 1800s.

The property includes an entire 19th-century hameau — a small Provençal village — with more than a dozen structures. The main house measures about 4,300 square feet, per previous reports, and contains five bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms. The various guest cottages and other structures bring the total square footage to 10,376 and the bedroom and bathroom count up to a total of a dozen each, as per digital marketing materials. A former church is now a guesthouse wherein the confessional was converted to a closet, and Mister Depp — who forewent a professional decorator/designer and did up the entire estate himself — also kitted out a covered wagon as a quirky getaway complete with a bathroom and kitchen.

In addition to a garage/workshop and a laundry facility done up to look like authentic business, the estate’s postcard-perfect “central square” includes a restaurant —the awning that hangs over the front reads “Chez Marceline” — that essentially serves as the estate’s dining room. The extensive, gated grounds additionally include a “Pirates of the Caribbean”-themed wine cellar with fabric draped bed, human skull and a fur pelt slung over a carved wood bench; two swimming pools — one worthy of a high-end country club; a complete gym Mister Depp presumably used to keep his middle-aged body silver screen ready; and a private skate park and half-pipe.

Your Mama finds it especially curious the estate is offered with all its furnishings along with a trove of Mister Depp’s other personal belonging such as books and artwork. We’re not really sure why someone who can afford $25 million for what amounts to a private village outside of St. Tropez would want Mister Depp’s decorative leftovers and antique market baubles but, then again, what do we know, right?

At least once a year or so Mister Depp is reported in all the property gossip columns to be in the process of looking for and/or buying a multimillion-dollar country estate in some semi-remote part of the U.K., but as far as this property gossip knows, he’s yet to actually acquire. He also didn’t buy the Nashville mansion it was widely rumored he had his eye on a few years ago. His current holdings, however and as far as we can tell, include a residence in the upscale Paris suburb of Meudon, a prominent estate just above the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles — where he legally married is current and significantly younger Texas-bred actress wife Amber Heard earlier this year — and Little Hall’s Pond Cay, an all but undeveloped 45-acre private island in the Bahamas where the newlyweds held a second ceremony on the beach in the company of a couple of dozen of their friends and family members. Mister Depp’s Los Angeles estate, a 2.64-acre spread on a snaking cul-de-sac with a sizable chateau-style mansion — some reports put it at more than 30 rooms — was purchased in October 1995 from celebrated celebrity attorney and palimony pioneer Marvin Mitchelson. In the subsequent years the privacy-seeking star covertly purchased four of the other six homes on the cul-de-sac at a cost we calculated on our handy-dandy bejeweled abacus to be $10.07 million, not counting the $1.89 million he paid for Mitchelson’s spread.

Listing photos: Sotheby’s International Realty