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Your Mama Hears…

…from Peter Propertyseller that veteran rap artist, high-end headphones mega-mogul and, it seems, up and coming real estate baller Dr. Dre is about to drop a dead serious wad of dough for—are you sitting down, real estate piglets?—Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchens’ much discussed eco-minded faux-French chateau in Los Angeles’s leafy, wealthy and celebrity-approved Brentwood ‘hood.

Even the most half-assed celebrity property watchers among us know that in late March of this year (2014), just six or so short months after the newly constructed estate in the guard-gated and celebrity-dotted Brentwood Country Estates enclave appeared in all its Old World (inspired) architecture meets state-of-the-art luxury glory in the glossy pages of Architectural Digest, the almost painfully pretty pair heaved the property on the open market to a tsunami of tongue wagging and ballyhoo with an official asking price of $50,000,000.

How much did Your Mama hear Mister Dr. Dre agreed to pay for the quarterback and the supermodel’s posh property? Well, children, we can’t confirm or deny the veracity of the dirt, but good ol’ Peter Propertyseller, a trusted tattletale if there ever was one, told Your Mama that word on the Platinum Triangle real estate street is that the deal is set to go down for forty or maybe even $48 million. (Feel free to take a moment and/or take a deep slug of a stiff cocktail of your choice.)

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In case any of you people thing this entrepreneurial fella can’t afford a forty-something million dollar house, well, guess again, buckaroos, he can. The Forbes folk recently estimated Mister Dr. Dre holds down a net worth of $550 million. In other words the man is sick rich and well on his way to billionairedom. So rich, indeed, that he can probably seriously consider, as he told the people at celebrity juggernaut TMZ he was, the purchase of the the L.A. Clippers basketball team when the powers that be at the N.B.A. force owner Donald Sterling, along with a lifetime banishment, to sell the franchise as punishment for a private but recorded, leaked and overtly racist conversation he had with his much younger and—in a deeply satisfying and quixotic twist—multi-ethnic former mistress. You can’t make this stuff up, children. Anyways…

Even before they made their union legal in the eyes of God and government in 2009, Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen paid $11.75 million in the late summer of 2008 for the then undeveloped 3.63 acre parcel that’s just up the curved street from the home of action flick muscle man and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. They engaged the in-demand services of renown L.A.-based architect and mansion specialist Richard Landry to custom-design a roomy and sumptuous residence for their expanding family. (They have two young children together and a Mister Brady has a son from a previous relationship.)

Official digital marketing materials show the imported limestone-faced chateau was completed in 2011 and has five bedrooms and nine bathrooms. Listing details go on about the “Old World European architecture” and the “state of the art amenities.” Presumably it was an instant patina of dignity and history that was sought—some might argue successfully—from the estate’s bevy of top quality materials that include vintage ceiling beams, antique floorboards and doors, salvaged ceramic tiles and bricks, marble fireplace surrounds, Vermont slate roof tiles, zinc gutters, and reclaimed cobblestones.

There as been a bit of confusion and discussion about how big this house actually is. In Architectural Digest (Oct., 2013) it was described as 14,000 square feet. However, many people think it looks much larger and, indeed, it has frequently been described in not always flattering media reports as weighing in at a more mega 20,000 square feet. (Miz Bündchen sits on the board of the Rainforest Alliance, was named Harvard’s Global Environmental Citizen in 2011, and she’s a designated Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP). So, some people thought it came off as a little excessive and maybe even hypocritical for a woman who so loudly and globally espouses the benefits of environmental sensitivity to build such a large home for her family of four/five, even if the damn thing is equipped with a few dozen solar panels on the roof.)

For the record, at least as the record exists for the L.A. Building Code people and the Los Angeles County Tax Man, the mansard-roofed main manse has a total of 11,230 square feet of interior living space with another other 2,516 in loggias, terraces and balconies. There is also, according to listing details, a 1,590 square foot fitness facility—the looks of which scares the bejeezis out of this lazy property gossip, a 135 square foot pool bath, a 1,360 square foot parking garage, a 630 square foot basement with mechanical equipment and another 837 square feet of loggias, terraces and covered walkways. All together, the indoor and outdoor living spaces—including the garage—total 18,298 square feet. Iffin we were the betting type, and we’re not, we’d wager both our long bodied bitches, Linda and Beverly, that the 18,298 square foot number on file with the city and the county is probably how the rumored and generously rounded up figure of 20,000 square feet got started.

Mister Dr. Dre, clearly a bit of a real estate size queen, owns a couple of other rather large homes in Los Angeles that include (but are not limited to) a nearly 14,000 square foot mansion in Woodland Hills bought May 1999 $2.375 million and an 8,800 -plus square foot ocean front abode on Malibu’s swanky Carbon Beach scooped up in October 2000 for $4,750,000. (In 2011/2012 the Mister Dr. Dre’s beach shack was listed with little fanfare, first for $11 million and later for $12.5 million.)

Some of y’all may recall that in the latter days of 2011 Mister Dr. Dre shelled out $15,400,000 for an almost 10,000 square foot on a prominent promontory in the so-called Bird Street’s ‘hood high above the Sunset Strip. According to our dear Peter Propertyseller, that house is being surreptitiously shopped as a whisper listing with a $35,000,000 asking price. No babies, that is not a boozy typo. Peter really said $35 million.

As for Mister Brady and Miz Bündchen, apparently they’re headed back east, from whence they came, to the affluent Boston suburb of Brookline where they’re in the process of constructing a custom mansion similarly sized and equipped as the one in Los Angeles they’re (allegedly) about to sell to Dr. Dre for an impressive price.

Just as an aside…The first thing Your Mama said to Peter Propertyseller when he passed along this delicious celebrity real estate canard was, “Shut up!” When we told real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak she screeched, “I just fainted!” And quickly followed with, “Heidi Klum is pissed.” (Miz Klum, herself a top-level supermodel in her day and nowadays an honest-to-goodness reality t.v. queen, purchased new digs last year and, hence, has her former mansion, a 12,000+ square foot pseudo-Tuscan villa that’s all but directly across the private road from the Brady-Bundchens, available as a whisper listing with an asking price—so this property gossip hears—of $20,000,000. Maybe she should raise the price?)

listing photos: Westside Estate Agency (via Curbed)

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