SELLER: Robin Williams
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 1,3,18 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Some of y’all may have already read in The Wall Street Journal this week that award-winning comedian and actor Robin Williams* will re-list his 650+ acre vineyard property in Napa and Sonoma Counties with a new and lower asking price of $29.9 million. (Yes, puppies, the estate straddles the county line so it’s in both counties.) Mister Williams previously had the luxuriously fitted estate with its titanic 20,000 Tuscan villa on the open market back in August 2012 with a significantly higher and (apparently) optimistic $35 million asking price.
According to Your Mama’s research, re-listing his baronial estate in Northern California isn’t the only recent shuffle Mister Williams has made to his residential real estate portfolio. In February of 2009 Mister Williams, via trust, paid Gossip Girl co-creator/writer/producer Stephanie Savage $857,500 for a modest pied-a-terre in Los Angeles’ historic and leafy Bronson Canyon.** Last September, to little or no hoo-ha or hullabaloo, the property popped back up for sale with an asking price of $939,000. Within six weeks the price dropped by $40,000 and in late January, according to property records, Mister Williams sold the house to a non-celebrity for $869,000.
Digital marketing materials show the 1920s Storybook Tudor*** retains many of its original architectural features and measures in at just 1,318 square feet with two bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms plus what listing details rather describe as a “unique screening room.” More on that “screening room” in a moment.
A charming brick stairway curves up from the street to a steeply pitched portico where an arched front door opens into the tiniest of tiny vestibules. It’s just one or maybe two steps through the tiny vestibule to the pleasingly voluminous living room with original wood floors, a raised and angled ceiling, and a period fireplace. A perfectly lovely set of arched, multi-pane French doors at the far end of the room lead out to the home’s primary outdoor living space, a walled and shady-looking red brick terrace.
In the dining room, two steps up through an archway from the living room, built-in book cases surround a street-facing bank of windows. Next door, in the efficiently petite and not particularly special kitchen, listing photos show humble white cabinets with glass fronted uppers, white ceramic tile counter tops, stainless steel appliances, and—curiously—parquet pattern flooring. The parquet pattern floor inexplicably extends into the main floor powder pooper and Your Mama fears all that parquet might be some sort of laminate material.
A a slender stairway ascends to the upper level where two bedrooms—one with an excitingly vaulted ceiling, share a squeezy but thankfully sky-lit bathroom with dark tile floors and white ceramic tiles in the combination tub/shower.
As mentioned above, listing details point out a “unique screening room” where a carpeted platform consumes more than half the floor space and makes it impossible for anyone taller than a toddler to stand up. Presumably one is expected to crawl up onto the platform and then, minding one’s tender noggin, fold oneself into the day bed in order to watch a movie? Gurl, pleeze. Just put a big ol’ t.v. in the living room and call it a day. We don’t know what some people are thinking, children. We understand that some people do not like to have their living room dominated by a television. And we get that. We feel your pain. But this is a small house and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. For chrissakes, Your Mama feels our blood all hot up in our eyeballs with claustrophobia just looking at a picture of that room and we can assure y’all we would most certainly require a nerve pill and a stiff gin & tonic to muster the courage to wedge our fat ass up in there just to look at the damn boob-toob. We’ll say it again because we think it’s important: Put a damn t.v. in the living room and call it a day. Okay? Okay.
Mister Williams, now married to his third wife, graphic designer Susan Schneider, also owns a six bedroom and 7.5 bathroom bay front home in the über-affluent community of Belvedere-Tiburon. Your Mama’s research shows Mister Williams purchased the large and luxurious if architecturally nondescript, 6,517 square foot single-story residence in the latter days of 2008 for $4,050,000.
*Mister Williams has been awarded 1 Oscar, 2 Emmys, 4 Golden Globes, and 5 Grammys.
**For the record: Your Mama can not say with certainty this house was occupied by Mister and Third Missus Williams. It’s possible it was purchased for one of Mister Williams’ several young adult children. Certainly, there’s precedent for this. In the fall of 2007 Mister Williams, again via trust, paid $1,010,000 for a sunny one bedroom and two bathroom duplex condo with private roof terrace in Brooklyn’s hipster haven of Williamsburg. The condo was later deeded over to his eldest son, Zachary, who subsequently sold in May, 2010, for $1.1 million. (As it turns out the top-floor condo is currently on the open market with an asking price of $1.695 million.)
***Is that what this house is? A Storybook Tudor? Anyone?
listing photos: Keller Williams