Sorry, kids, but Your Mama feels way under the weather today with a mysterious sickness that seems like a cold but might be the flu or unsupervised ennui and we regret to inform all of y’all who’d rather shove hot coals up in your naughty bits than read anything about the Kardashian family that all we got for you this morning is a short look at the kaleidoscopically saturated, high-glam suburban Los Angeles residence of reality television royal Kourtney Kardashian and her flashy and faux-tanned two-time baby daddy (and faux-royal) Scott Disick.

A quick spin through property records (and other online resources) shows entrepreneurial Miss Kardashian—she has a fragrance line and a string of clothing boutiques in L.A., Miami and NYC, and Mister Disick—he, in addition to behaving like an all-around douche bag most of the time, has or had some sort of involvement in a slew of companies that sell vitamins and other supplements that include a pill for male menopause, picked up the 5,200 square foot house in December 2010 for $1.7 million and had the four bedroom and five bathroom place worked over (and hard) by Kardashian family’s favorite decorator Jeff Andrews.

The unmarried couple’s painstakingly zhooshed (and arguably meretricious) home was recently featured in the slick and celeb-y online magazine Domaine. In the accompanying article—as if on queue—Kourtney announced that that they planned to sell the house—we  paraphrase here—so they can start the decorating process all over in a larger house, a process that we call all rest easy will most certainly be documented by one or more of the many Kardashian reality television shows. Whoopie.

In our current delicate condition we can’t be bothered to discuss all the striped wallpaper, the hot pink child-sized grand piano, or the cobalt blue horse head figurine in the foyer but we will say we (mostly) really like the office/library with its black walls, furniture melange, and rainbow collection of color-coded books We also think the children ought to note the pink neon sign above the bed in the master bedroom by New York artist Curtis Kulig that reads, “love me.” It’s a fool’s game, of course, but it’s sorta tough not to read into that sign being placed above that bed, isn’t it? Anyways…

In other Kardashian family real estate news, the also Jeff Andrews-decorated Tarzana macmansion that Khloe K. shared with her estranged professional basketball player hubby Lamar Odom has gone into escrow just nine days after being listed on the open market with an asking price of $5,499,000.

photos: Grey Crawford for Jeff Andrews via Domaine
aerial photo (bottom, right): Pacific Coast News