SELLERS: Moon Unit Zappa and Paul Doucette
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 2,132 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: About a year ago various gossip glossies and celebrity tabloids reported that Moon Unit Zappa filed for a dee-vorce from Paul Doucette so it’s no surprise to this property gossip the erstwhile couple’s long-time home near the top of L.A.’s Laurel Canyon has popped up for sale with an asking price of $1,549,000.
Miz Zappa, a one-time novel author and occasional bit-part actress, is a the oddly-named daughter of the late and legendary experimental musician Frank Zappa. (Her middle name really is Unit.) While she may (or may not) be little known to the Snapchat generation dinosaurs over 40 recognize her as a high priestess of a one-hit wonders who had 15 or 20 minutes of international celebrity thrust upon her at 14-years old with the sarcastic and sharp 1982 cult-classic Valley Girl. Here’s Miz Zappa is back in the day looking right prim and proper in a farmhouse-y flower print frock and white tights (lip synching) on the gloriously high-camp Solid Gold. Mister Doucette plays guitar and sings backup for the pop-rock band Matchbox Twenty as well as heads up his own (cutely if cumbersomely named) band The Break and Repair Method.
Property records are a wee bit wacky on this one but indicate a corporate entity easily tied to the Zappa family purchased the property in July 1996 for $660,000. In August 2001, not quite a year before Miz Zappa and Mister Doucette hitched their love wagons in the eyes of God and government in June 2002, the property was sold for $680,000 to a opaquely monikered trust that Your Mama’s deep throat source, Lucy Spillerguts, told us is directly linked to Moon Unit Zappa.
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Anyways, current digital marketing materials show the updated 1930s three bedroom and 2.5 bathroom clapboard-sided ranch-traditional measures in at a fairly modest 2,132 square feet of space. As evidenced by the unexpectedly roomy walk-in closet in the master bedroom, all the white upholstered furnishings, and the numerous (and probably fake) sprays of white orchids it should be abundantly obvious to anyone with eyeballs to see that the Zappa-Doucettes have already moved out and turned the place over to the real estate agents and Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota.
A series of decks steps up from the gated driveway and two-car garage to the front door. A small but proper entrance hall with over-worn wood floors steps down to a spacious living room with more over-worn wood floors, built-in book shelves, a wood-burning fireplace flanked by cushioned built-in window seats, and French doors that open to the backyard.
The wood floors turn to some sort of over-scaled stone (or faux-stone) tile in the open concept kitchen and dining room. The dining area is anchored by a built in buffet with open shelves and closed lower storage while the wide, U-shaped kitchen has snow white Shaker-style cabinetry, high-quality stainless steel appliances, and an adjacent laundry room. A row of windows and a wood-framed glass door connects to a courtyard-type deck.
In addition to the two guest/family bedrooms—one of which has a clever desk space built into one of the closets—there’s a wood-floored office/den with direct backyard access through a wood-framed glass door. The floors (regrettably) switch to a different, paler and more Scandinavian-looking wood floor in the master bedroom. That’s the bad news. The good news is the bedroom is large enough to accommodate a sitting area and features an angled fireplace and direct access to the decked courtyard off the kitchen/dining room. Listing photos also show a fitted walk-in closet/dressing room that’s probably larger than most of the children’s bedrooms and an attached bathroom that looks to Your Mama like it could be in just about any upscale business hotel.
The backyard—it’s really on the side of the house—has a distinct resort feel although that vibe may be a direct result of all the matchy-matchy patio furniture brought in by Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota. A tall fence and a row of taller trees provide adequate if not complete privacy for the backyard that includes a dining area under a lattice-backed and bougainvillea-draped trellis structure and a small, elevated deck that overlooks the swimming pool and inset spa. At the far end of the yard a second, elevated deck has an outdoor fireplace.
No word on where Mister Doucette settled or where Miz Zappa moved but Your Mama’s wonders if it’s in the Valley, like, maybe in a really good part of Encino?
listing photos: Partners Trust