SELLERS: Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian
PRICE: $5,499,000
SIZE: 8,400 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8.5 bathroom

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Well, we knew it was coming, right? With the relentlessly marketed marriage of professional reality show denizen Khloe Kardashian and allegedly drug addicted professional basketballer Lamar Odom on the rocks and headed to the court of divorce it comes as no surprise to this (or any other) property gossip that the splitting couple put their once-happy marital home in the guard-gated Mulholland Park community in super-suburban Tarzana, CA up for sale with an asking price of $5,499,000.

Property records show erstwhile couple—married in September 2009 after a whirlwind one month courtship—acquired the mock-Med macmansion in December 2009 for $3,950,000 and newly uploaded digital marketing materials show the house was built in 2003 on .75 landscaped acres, and has seven bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms in about 8,400 square feet of professionally decorated and reality camera ready space with lots of earthtone furnishings and fittings, textured wallpaper, and tumbled stone and mosaic tile accents

A gated driveway wraps around a three-tiered fountain at the front of the hulking house before it curls around to the side to provide access to an attached three-car garage with convenient direct access to the house. A slightly off-center front door opens into a double-height foyer with stone tile flooring and a sweeping, wrought iron-railed staircase. Listing details indicate there are reality camera-ready formal living and dining rooms that open to a rear loggia as well as a library/office with built-in book cases and direct access to a what is described as a “lush patio.”

Less formal family quarters include a spacious center island kitchen with wood beams on the ceiling, slab stone tiles on the floor, dark chocolate toned and heavily ornamented custom cabinetry, and high-grade appliances. An adjoining circular breakfast room was given super-graphic horizontal stripe paint treatment and the nearby family room has a fireplace with a glammy, high-gloss jet black tile chimney breast. Movies and screenings of Miz Kardashians numerous reality programs can also be viewed in a home theater with state of the art a/v systems, built-in entertainment center, and rugged, rough-hewn wood panels on the walls.

In addition to the six guest/family bedroom suites listing details describe a luxuriously appointed master suite complete with sitting area, fireplace, private terrace with expansive San Fernando Valley views, and a trio of custom-built walk-in closets. The attached master bathroom has double sinks, a party-sized spa tub set into a circular niche, and a separate shower with what listing details describe as “personalized temperature settings and music capability.”

The “ultra-private resort like grounds” include shaded loggias, flat grassy areas, sunbathing terraces, an arched dining ramada laced with fairy lights, a swimming pool with elevated circular spa and super-sized Baja shelf, a fire pit (or two), and a built-in barbecue/outdoor kitchen with a trellis super-structure and a four-stool snack counter.

No shade, children, but Your Mama doesn’t care much for the Kardashian clan—just what is it they do that makes them so rich and famous?—so we really don’t know where Miz Kardashian plans to reside once her divorce is final and this house gets sold off but iffin we were the betting type—and we’re not—we’d wager both our long bodied bitches, Linda and Beverly, and our mean ol’ pussy, Sugar that she’s currently shacked up in Hidden Hills with her famously ambitious and Showbiz savvy momager, Kris Jenner, who is also in the midst of her own (slightly less tawdry) divorce from surgically—ahem—enhanced Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner. We also haven’t an iota what Mister Odom’s future real estate plans may be but our research show’s he’s still owns an 8,500+ square foot macmansion on just over a landscaped acre in Pinecrest, FL that he picked up in late 2003 for $2,975 million and until recently had up for lease at $17,000 per month.

listing photos: Ewing / Sotheby’s International Realty and Berskhire Hathaway HomeServices