Unsurprisingly the crowds went Syco for the Simon Cowell quintuplets, on Aug. 20 in Leicester Square.

Proud producer Cowell jocularly announced on arrival, “I feel like a father!” The occasion of his paternal pride: the world bow of Sony/Tri Star’s docu “One Direction: This is Us” at the Empire Cinema.

Thousands of fans, known as Directioners, had camped out, some overnight, keen to ensure entry. Although for some, the joy was short-lived. Seeing real world 1D in 3D proved all too much — some fainted, others wept and a small number went the less traditional fan route of throwing fresh, green apples on stage.

After living any Directioner’s dream, following the boys’ every move for months on end, helmer Morgan Spurlock was certain of his new-found boy band bond. Convinced that if and when the time came, the boys would choose him over Cowell as their sixth band member.

Buoyed by a publicly cheeky pinch from behind, at the hands of Harry Styles, confident Cowell contradicted Spurlock. Supremely sure it was he with the X-Factor!

Both were swiftly shot down, however. Following a brief musing over his personal choice for a sixth member, both gents were rejected by Styles. With fair justification as “they’ve both got questionable dress sense,” Styles explained.

Post pic, the other band members Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson joined Styles, Cowell, Spurlock and guests for an after party at the Sanderson Hotel, with plans to go crazy, crazy, crazy ‘til they saw the sun.