×
You will be redirected back to your article in seconds

Film Review: ‘Unhung Hero’

Brian Spitz's documentary amusingly details one man's quest to find out if size really matters.

With:

Patrick Moote, Peter Moote, Robert Wagner, Jennifer Berman, Joel Kaplan, Cristian Youngmiller,  Aiden Aspen, Dale Dabone, Ron Jeremy, Robert Lawrence, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, Klaus Richter, Song-ah Yoo, Master Tu, Gilbert Herdt, Yoon-Soo Lee, Jonah Falcon, Dan Savage. (English, Malaysian, Korean, Mandarin dialogue)

“Unhung Hero” amusingly details comedian Patrick Moote’s quest to find out if size really matters — and whether it’s really possible to enlarge the size of one’s junk — after a public humiliation underlines the insecurity that dwells in his underwear. Brian Spitz’s ingratiating first theatrical feature opens Dec. 6 at Hollywood’s Arena Cinema, launching on DVD and iTunes a few days later. It has a good shot at parlaying favorable reviews and other press attention into additional theatrical dates.

A droopy-lidded, emo-looking Gen-Y actor and standup talent, Moote endured a less-than-desirable moment of fame a while back when he proposed to his girlfriend (otherwise never seen or heard from here) at a UCLA basketball game. Her decline was projected to all on the Jumbotron in a scene that became an embarrassing viral hit, much discussed by the usual talkshow pundits. Apparently the soon-to-be-ex-g.f. subsequently explained that a major cause for her refusal was the underwhelming scale of Moote’s endowment. Determined to find out “am I too small?,” he announces, “The men of the world deserve an answer to this question and so I’m going to find it with this cockumentary.”

First stop is his Pacific Northwest hometown, where family members are supportive but other ex-squeezes less so; one says that on a sexual scale of one to 10, he’s a three. Nor does a famed female urologist offer much cheer when she says the average penis is four to six inches erect, and his is “low normal.” Others consulted include the “penis pump king” and another man who’s invented an enlargement technique called “jelqing.”

Now on a regime of exercises and pills, Moote is alarmed when sexologist Carol Queen informs him that far from doing him good, such quackery might actually cause permanent physical harm. He gets psychological encouragement from ex-porn star Annie Sprinkle, who says she can tell he’s “a sexually gifted person,” and her famously endowed colleague Ron Jeremy assures that, as far as women are concerned, “a good tongue is more important.”

Still determined to somehow improve upon nature, Moote travels to Southeast Asia, where the consumption of relevant animal parts, extreme martial arts, scary oil injections and plain old plastic surgery are among the variably credible solutions on offer. Back home, he gets some sage advice from Jonah Falcon, alleged owner of the world’s largest penis, and author Dan Savage.

The wrap-up is a bit rote, as Moote finally gets the “just be yourself” message and a new girlfriend to boot. But the film’s brisk progress is always genial and lively, hitting the expected off-color-humor marks without getting too juvenile. If “Unhung Hero” occasionally feels semi-staged, it never takes itself seriously enough for that to feel like a cheat. Assembly is sharp and resourceful throughout.

Film Review: 'Unhung Hero'

Reviewed online, San Francisco, Dec. 4, 2013. Running time: 86 MIN.

Production:

(Documentary) A Breaking Glass Pictures release of a Green Sky Films production. Produced by Thomas Brettschneider, In-Ah Lee, Christoph Pellander, Lynn Schmitz. Executive producers, Ulrich Mommert, Karen Walter-Mommert, Christian Hofann, Alexander P. Sator, Andreas Schafer, Sebastian Wolff, Anne Brettschneider, Ralf Drechsler, Simon Mayer, Frank Ott, Ralf Ott, Jochen Benz, Frank Fischer, Annette Hardieck, Josef Pellander, Jose Fornes Pierez, Brian Spitz, Michael Westerwick. Co-producer, Starlee Kine, Eric Abrams.

Crew:

Directed by Brian Spitz. Camera (color, HD), Brennan Maxwell; editor, Justin Guerrieri; music, Sarah Schachner; music supervisor, Cary Logrande; sound, Kevni Faber, Jared Simmons; supervising sound editor/re-recording mixer, Clayton Weber.

With:

Patrick Moote, Peter Moote, Robert Wagner, Jennifer Berman, Joel Kaplan, Cristian Youngmiller,  Aiden Aspen, Dale Dabone, Ron Jeremy, Robert Lawrence, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, Klaus Richter, Song-ah Yoo, Master Tu, Gilbert Herdt, Yoon-Soo Lee, Jonah Falcon, Dan Savage. (English, Malaysian, Korean, Mandarin dialogue)

More Film

  • Bob Iger arrives at the Oscars,

    Bob Iger: 'Challenging Work of Uniting Our Businesses' Lies Ahead for Disney

    Bob Iger marked the historic occasion of Disney’s purchase of 21st Century Fox with a lengthy memo to staffers that was candid about the challenges of the massive integration of people and cultures that lies ahead for the media giant. “I wish I could tell you that the hardest part is behind us, that closing [...]

  • EMMA APPLETON as FEEF SYMONDS

    'Traitors' Producer 42 Hires Literary Manager Eugenie Furniss

    Eugenie Furniss is joining London- and Los Angeles-based management and production company 42 as literary manager, it was announced Wednesday. The company’s slate include movie “Ironbark,” a Cold War thriller starring Benedict Cumberbatch, and TV series “Traitors,” a spy thriller coming to Netflix in the U.S. at the end of the month. Furniss joins 42 [...]

  • Brad Pitt Leonardo DiCaprio Once Upon

    Quentin Tarantino's 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood' Trailer Drops

    The first look at “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” is finally here, and Quentin Tarantino is taking audiences back to the height of hippie Hollywood. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, the footage features a montage of Tinseltown in the late 1960s. The duo play Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth, a washed-up actor and [...]

  • One-Cut-Of-The-Dead-Review

    Japanese Sleeper Hit ‘One Cut of the Dead’ Heads for English Remake (EXCLUSIVE)

    “One Cut of the Dead,” a micro-budget horror film that last year defied the odds to become one of the biggest hits of the year in Japan, is headed for an English-language remake. Patrick Cunningham, a Japan-based American producer whose credits include “Martha Marcy May Marlene” and “Starlet,” is behind the venture. More Reviews TV [...]

  • Come as You Are review

    SXSW Film Review: 'Come as You Are'

    The rare remake that’s actually a slight improvement on its predecessor, Richard Wong’s “Come as You Are” translates Geoffrey Enthoven’s 2011 Belgian “Hasta la Vista” to middle America. Other changes are less substantial, but this seriocomedy has a less formulaic feel than the original while remaining a crowd-pleasing buddy pic-caper with a soft-pedaled minority empowerment [...]

  • Strange Negotiations review

    SXSW Film Review: 'Strange Negotiations'

    In a era when some mainstream entertainers have transitioned to targeting faith-based audiences, David Bazan is moving in the other direction. The gifted songwriter’s ersatz band Pedro the Lion was perhaps the most successful Christian indie rock act of its time, and the first to significantly cross over to secular fans. Then he ditched that persona (and [...]

  • Bluebird review

    SXSW Film Review: ‘Bluebird’

    As affectionate as a love letter but as substantial as an infomercial, Brian Loschiavo’s “Bluebird” may be of most interest to casual and/or newly converted country music fans who have occasionally wondered about the songwriters behind the songs. There’s a better than even-money chance that anyone who’s a loyal and longtime aficionado of the musical [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content