×

Humor: Sharon Stone Named Suspect in Cannes Jewel Heist

Satire: This content was not produced by Variety, but we find it very funny

French police have named actress Sharon Stone as their prime suspect in the daring heist, in which more than $1.4 million in jewels were stolen from a hotel room during the Cannes Film Festival. According to authorities, they zeroed in on the “Basic Instinct” star as their prime suspect after an IMDb search helped them realize the actress hasn’t been a movie star in almost a decade, which made her attendance at the Cannes Film Festival extremely suspicious, they noted.

“Sharon Stone’s last starring role in a major theatrical release was in 2006’s ‘Basic Instinct 2,’ which should have gone to straight-to-DVD anyway,” a spokesperson for the Nice police told Hollywood & Swine. “So what possible business does Sharon Stone have attending the 2013 Cannes Film Festival other than to steal expensive jewels? No one including Ms. Stone has been able to give us a good answer.”

When French detectives brought Stone in for questioning earlier today for her alleged involvement in the jewelry theft, she immediately began reciting popular lines from her infamous interrogation scene in 1992’s “Basic Instinct.” She then tried to intimidate detectives by uncrossing her legs, but officers explained to the Oscar-nommed actress that no one has wanted to see that since the ’90s.

Stone reportedly told detectives she was at the festival to see her former co-star Michael Douglas’ new Liberace biopic, “Behind the Candelabra.” Detectives quickly dismissed this as an unlikely motive for traveling across the globe to France, when like most of America, Stone could have waited until the film premiered on HBO. Detectives believe what may help them prove Stone is responsible for the jewel heist is the actress’s long and notorious history of theft. Detectives have numerous sworn affidavits by co-stars from her brief guest-starring stint on “Law & Order: SVU,” where Stone is accused of trying to steal every scene she was in by overacting.

Go to HollywoodandSwine.com for more.

Popular on Variety

More Film

  • 'Bombay Rose,' Venice Premiere, Debuts Trailer

    'Bombay Rose,' Venice Film Festival Premiere, Debuts Trailer (EXCLUSIVE)

    Variety has been given exclusive access to the trailer for animated film “Bombay Rose,” which will have its world premiere opening Venice Critics’ Week on Aug. 28. The film, written and directed by Gitanjali Rao, will also play in the Contemporary World Cinema strand at the Toronto Film Festival on Sept. 7. “Bombay Rose” is [...]

  • Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu speaks during a

    Alejandro G. Inarritu on the Need to Preserve Poetry in Cinema

    Alejandro G. Iñárritu is urging the film industry to guard against the influence of television storytelling in cinema, a looming crisis he said could strip film of the beauty and poetry that make it a unique artistic form of expression. Attending the Sarajevo Film Festival to receive the Honorary Heart of Sarajevo award, the Oscar-winning [...]

  • Levan Akin on the Impact of

    Levan Akin on the Impact of ‘And Then We Danced’

    Georgian-Swedish filmmaker Levan Akin is already enjoying success with “And Then We Danced,” his acclaimed social drama about a young dancer struggling with the confines of tradition and forbidden love. The film, which premiered in Directors’ Fortnight in Cannes, went on to win three top awards at the Odessa Film Festival, including best film and [...]

  • Brian Oliver'Black Mass' Premiere, Toronto International

    'Rocketman' Producer Developing Comedy 'Inward Bound' (EXCLUSIVE)

    Brian Oliver’s New Republic Pictures, the company that co-financed and produced “Rocketman,” is developing a female ensemble comedy “Inward Bound.” The announcement comes on the heels of Universal’s “Good Boys” becoming the first R-rated comedy to open in first place at the North American box office  in three years, as well as the biggest opening [...]

  • Heroic Losers

    Watch Clip from Ricardo Darin’s Toronto-Bound ‘Heroic Losers’ (EXCLUSIVE)

    Variety has been given access to an exclusive clip and poster from Toronto Special Presentation “La Odisea de los Giles” (“Heroic Losers”) which, starring Ricardo Darín, has just scored in is native Argentina a standout opening weekend of Peso 58.8 million ($1.1 million) and 316,300 admissions for Warner Bros. Pictures. With “Heroic Losers” having released [...]

  • "The Hunt"

    'The Hunt' Director Breaks Silence on Film's Cancellation (EXCLUSIVE)

    Craig Zobel, director of “The Hunt,” hopes that the controversial political thriller will eventually be seen by audiences, and argues that its message has been misrepresented in media reports. Zobel spoke for the first time since Universal canceled the film’s release on Aug. 10, in the wake of a series of mass shootings and amid [...]

  • Mark Damon, CEO & Chairman, Foresight

    Mark Damon's DCR Finance Receives $150 Million for Financing Georgia Films (EXCLUSIVE)

    Mark Damon’s DCR Finance Corp., co-headed with financer Adi Cohen, has received a $150 million investment from Go Media Productions for Georgia projects, Variety has learned exclusively. Damon, whose credits include “2 Guns” and “Lone Survivor,” made the announcement Monday with Cohen. The deal calls for Atlanta-based Go Media Productions to join a private placement as [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content