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Denzel Washington’s Secret Identity: Ice Skater

Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg open U pic '2 Guns' in New York

Universal Pictures’ “2 Guns” is about a DEA agent and a naval officer who learn that they each are working as undercover agents attempting to bring down a drug cartel.

Although none of the cast or filmmakers were acting as double agents at the worldwide premiere at Gotham’s SVA Theater July 29, each revealed who they would be, if they too could have a secret or new identity.

“I’d like to be anything other than myself for a little while,” said Mark Wahlberg, as women watching the red carpet from the street screamed his name as if they were tweens shrieking for Bieber. “Just for a change of pace, to switch it up for a little while.” Wahlberg said he’d like to trade places with a studio head. “I’d like to make some decisions.”

U’s Donna Langley laughed upon hearing Wahlberg’s confession at the after party at the Boom Boom Room. “I think he’d be amazing,” she said. “I think he can do anything, but I wouldn’t want him to not be an actor or a producer anymore.”

And if Wahlberg wants a go at her job, what would she do instead? “I think I would like to be somebody like Steve Jobs, an inventor,” she said. “Somebody who makes a huge impact on an entire generation — globally.”

Director Baltasar Kormakur would also want a new identity to take him around the world – albeit in a less conventional way. “I would probably chase lions in Africa, something like that,” he said.

“I’d love to be one of the X-Men because they’re so cool,” said Boom! Studios’ topper Ross Richie. “I’d want to be Cyclops because he has lasers that come out of his eyes.”

Cyclops himself, James Marsden, however, had his eyes on a different franchise. “Actually, I’d be a spy. For sure. I guess that’s sort of the James Bond lover in me.”

And what about Denzel Washington, whose body of work has allowed him to be a detective, an assassin, and a heroin kingpin?

“I couldn’t tell you, it’s a secret!” he said. “What would you do?” he asked his wife, Pauletta. “I’d be a dancer at Alvin Ailey,” she said, without hesitation.

“You’d be a dancer at Alvin Ailey?” he retorted. “Well then I’d be an ice skater. An Olympic gold medal skater.”

See you in Sochi, Mr. Washington.

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