BUYER: Charlie Sheen
LOCATION: Beverly Hills/Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $4,800,000
SIZE: 6,625 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It has come to Your Mama’s attention—via the wonderfully incessant and greatly appreciated real estate machinations of Yolanda Yakketyak—that whackadoodle actor and tabloid staple Charlie Sheen owns not just one but three macmansions in the affluent, guard-gated and occasionally crime plagued* Mulholland Estates community in Sherman Oaks/Beverly Hills, CA.** Your Mama knew about two of them but the third came as a bit of a surprise, we have to admit.

The irrepressibly contrarian porn and prostie lovin’ publicity hound plunked down $7,200,000 in April 2006 to buy a nearly 8,000 square foot mock-Med macmansion with five bedrooms and seven bathrooms. The children will recall that Mister Sheen had the house—his primary residence, his Ground Zero, if y’all will—on the market for about four months over the tumultuous summer of 2011 with a $7.2 million price tag. Alas, the house failed to sell and remains firmly ensconced in his growing property portfolio.

In March 2011, in the midst of an ugly and public but also very lucrative psychic meltdown, Mister Sheen, as the self-monikered Winning Warlock, shelled out $6,999,999 to buy a 9,020 square foot mock-Med macmansion just around the corner. The seller, as it turns out, was Tinseltown tycoon turned hardcore house flipper Mike Medavoy who had only purchased the six bedroom and nine bathroom beast six months earlier for $6,000,000. There where scads of rumors and reports that Mister Sheen purchased the property in order to put up one of his three ex-wives or, perhaps, to house his harem of hussy gal pals but—to be honest—Your Mama has no idea why he wanted the house or who currently occupies it.

Anyhoo, with information provided by Yolanda Your Mama had a thorough perusal of property records and, lo and behold, in late October (2012) Mister Sheen clandestinely acquired his third mock-Med macmansion in Mulholland Estates, this one a 6,625 square foot quasi-Spanish villa with five bedrooms and six bathrooms.

Mister Sheen bought the house, according to our research, from L.A.-based billionaire financier Tom Gores—the owner of the Detroit Pistons—who bought it in 2006 for $5,712,000 from his low key Hollywood power player celebrity agent brother Sam Gores. Your Mama does not even have to consult our beloved bejeweled abacus to see that Mister T. Gores lost more than a million clams on that deal, not counting carrying costs, improvements and real estate fees. Of course, the Forbes folk estimate T. Gores has a $2.6 billion fortune so what’s he really care about a million so bucks, right? Sam Gores, however, did much better financially as he’d acquired the property for $2,600,000 in May 2001 from Verna Harrah, the wildly rich (and now deceased) widow of casino kingpin Bill Harrah.

In November 2008 Tom Gores, who has an extensive and interesting residential real estate history that any of the butter beans who might be interested can read about here, coughed up $18,000,000 for a 7,247 square foot mansion due north of the Bel-Air Country Club. Just a few short months later, in January 2009, the real estate baller coughed up $38,000,000 to buy the 11,400 square foot Mediterranean mansion nest door that was formerly owned by none other than Verna Harrah. Real estate coinkydink? You decide. Mister Gores has since knocked down the smaller house and expanded the larger one to be a more satisfying residential real estate monument to his vast wealth.

Besides Mister Sheen and a slew of wealthy doctors, lawyers and bizness(wo)men there are a number of high profile peeps who maintains homes in the Mulholland Estates Community. They include Judith Light and Robert Desiderio, British pop star Robbie Williams, former Beach Boy Brian Wilson and rock star Slash and his wife Perla Hudson who bought their house in March 2009 for $7.3 million from newly divorced former Real Housewife and up-and-coming cougar Adrienne Maloof’s mother Colleen Maloof. Tom Gores still owns at least one other house in Mulholland Estates, the one directly across from Mister Sheen’s latest acquisition that’s currently for sale with an asking price of $10,750,000 and currently leased—so the stories go—for about twenty grand a month to none other than Adrienne Maloof. Mister Gores brother Alec also owns a house in the community that he picked up in 2007 from crooner Paul Anka.***

In addition to his trio of macmansions in the Mulholland Estates community, Mister Sheen also owns an ocean front condo in Malibu he bought in 1995 for $635,000 as well as a completely nondescript 1970s contemporary in Malibu’s Point Dume area that he scooped up in early 2002 for $1.3 million.

*Despite an always-manned gate house—or maybe it’s womanned, we don’t know—and 24/7 street patrols by private security there have over the years been an unusual amount of strange and disturbing criminal activities within the Mulholland Estates community. In late 2008 Paris Hilton’s house was burgled by the Bling Ring and in 2010 her former beau Cy Waits held a knife wielding wannabe intruder on the ground at gun point until the po-lice arrived to apprehend the obviously mentally disturbed moe-ron. Our Mister Sheen has twice—twice!—had an S-Class Mercedes stolen out of his goddamn driveway, one of which was driven over a cliff into a nearby ravine.

**The entire Mulholland Estates community sits north of Mulholland Drive, the dividing line between the Beverly Hills Post Office. That means it’s actually, technically, in Sherman Oaks but—and this is important to some people—has a 90210 zip code thanks to some smooth operating by the developer.

***It’s not known to Your Mama if Alec Gores occupies the houses he owns in Mulholland Estates or if it’s occupied by other family members, ex-wives, children and/or random tenants.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland