SELLER: Terry and Heather DuBrow
LOCATION: Newport Coast, CA
PRICE: $16,450,000
SIZE: Unknown

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: There are those who can surely and successfully argue that The Real Housewives of… franchise jumped the proverbial Showbiz shark a long time ago. Maybe it has. None the less, Your Mama and the Doctor Cooter still faithfully tune in—well, we DVR it anyways—whenever those bejeweled blouse wearing beotches down in Orange County pop up on the boob toob. We can’t help it. We can’t.

Maybe after all these years we just feel loyal to all those over-Botoxed and faux-breasted women. Maybe we’re simply sad, sheep-like creatures of t.v. watching habit. Maybe its a sick addiction we need Dr. Drew Pinsky to address. Or maybe—and most embarrassingly—we just can’t get enough of all those grown-ass women wrapped in the glitzy trappings of wealth who may or may not actually be rich but still act like catty and entitled high school cheerleaders whenever they get a few cocktails in them. Whatever the reason(s), we can’t resist them. We can’t. We probably shouldn’t admit that out loud but, there, it’s done. Iffin any of the children don’t want to hear about these Orange County vixens and vamps and/or their recent real estate activities, then we suggest you check back soon when we’ll have moved on to a celebrity or “celebrity” more to your liking. Okay?

Anyhoodles poodles, Your Mama received a covert communique the other day from someone we’ll call Tawny S. Kinh who told us that Heather DuBrow—who joined the RHOOC in mid-2012 for the 7th season and is slated to appear in the upcoming eighth season—and her prominent and clearly well-compensated plastic surgeon husband Terry DuBrow very quietly sold their custom-built mansion in the swanky and gated Pelican Crest enclave in Newport Coast, CA in the latter days of December 2012 for, according to property records, $16,450,000. The buyer is rich, of course, but not famous.

Sports minded real estate watchers may recall that Pelican Crest is the same pricey ‘hood where L.A. Laker Kobe Bryant and his now ex-wife Vanessa were in the process of custom building a huge house when they split up and became the sold property of ex-Missus Bryant in early 2012 as part of their divorce settlement. But we digress…

As best as Your Mama can tell from a careful perusal of property records, Dr. and Missus DuBrow may have picked up the then-vacant parcel in September of 2004 for $3,275,000 and a couple years later taken out a whopping seven million dollar construction loan to pay for the custom erection of the existing mock-Med villa.

The DuBrow’s mansion was not, as far as we can tell, ever on the open market so we weren’t able to dig up any listing details about the house on the internets. Interestingly, property records are also frustratingly devoid of details so we can’t even tell y’all how many square feet, the number of bedrooms or how many bathrooms the Orange County Tax Man thinks the house has because we didn’t see them called out in any of the handful of data bases we accessed. All we really know is that their 2011 taxes came to just under $85,000 and that in the final days of 2012 Dr. and Missus Dubrow sold their luxurious Pelican Crest crib for $16,450,000.

Of course we saw bits and pieces of the luxurious and clearly quite large residence on season seven of The Real Housewives of Orange County. As our boozy memory recalls there’s an impressive double height foyer sized like the lobby of a small hotel, a roomy and well-fitted eat-in kitchen and a spacious master suite complete with closets and dressing rooms that would make an average clothes horse simper with envy.

We also recall—and can surmise from aerial imagery readily accessible on the interweb—that there are several terraces and loggias on both levels at the back of the house that have broad coastline and ocean views. There’s also a small formal garden centered around a fountain, a narrow but very wide and desirably flat swathe of grass and a gated driveway that leads to an underground parking area of unknown size. There is not, as far as we know, a swimming pool on the property unless there’s one in the basement.

We peeked and poked around in various property record data bases but we were unable to figure out to where Dr. and Missus DuBrow have decamped. Did they downsize? Up size? Did they head inland or did they opt for something closer to the beach? Unless that cross-eyed reality t.v. exec and chat show hostess Andy Cohen gives Your Mama a ringy-dingy we may just have to wait until season 8 begins to get a bead on things. We tease, Andy. Your Mama luvs you like the dickens even though you never return our calls, texts or tweets.*

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Bueller?

*Not that he would if we did but Mister Cohen never returns Your Mama’s calls because we’ve never actually called, texted, tweeted or otherwise attempted to contact him.

aerial image: Google