250-year-old comic rules

Night of Comedy benefits Children Affected by AIDS Foundation, Keep a Child Alive

Saturday marked the 10th annual Night of Comedy benefiting the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation and Keep a Child Alive, and many of the evening’s comedians were reflecting on the passage of time.

From the stage of the Saban Theater in Beverly Hills, Ray Romano joked, “I know exactly the moment when I wasn’t young anymore. I was having sex with my wife and in the middle of it, I actually had to take a knee.” Romano kneeled on the stage, breathing heavily into the mic, and continued: “I had to run the clock out!”

Hal Sparks cited a Harvard scientific study, noting, “Within 10 years, human beings will have a life expectancy of 250 years. You tell some people that and they’re like, ‘Oh God, I wouldn’t want to live to be 250 years old.’ I would, so I can tell an 80-year-old to ‘Shut the fuck up, kid! You don’t know anything! Wait until you’re 140, you’ll know a thing or two.'”