The ABCs of Death

An appallingly bad concoction of disgusting shorts that run through the alphabet but really should've stopped at "A."

“The ABCs of Death” is an appallingly bad concoction of disgusting shorts that run through the alphabet but really should’ve stopped at “A.” A bloated omnibus pic from horror helmers Srdjan Spasojevic, Ti West, Jorge Michel Grau, Ben Wheatley and two dozen others, it features 26 variously morbid extrapolations on a given letter — “A” for “Apocalypse” and “B” for “Bigfoot,” etc. — but lacks even one with any imagination. Magnet Releasing’s repugnant yukfest will go the way of the distrib’s similar “V/H/S,” i.e., to VOD, where it’ll be DOA.

Why none of the many directors delivers a punchline to his or her five-minute joke of a splatter film is a question more compelling than whatever oozes at the edges of “The ABCs of Death.” The titles of West’s “Miscarriage,” Noburo Iguchi’s “Fart,” Kaare Andrews’ “Vagitus,” and Bruno Forzani and Helene Cattet’s “Orgasm” say it all; Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett’s “Quack” proves clever enough to be about filmmakers shooting a lewd short for an omnibus pic. Tech credits are disturbingly pro and vary little among the different episodes.

The ABCs of Death

Production: A Magnet release and presentation, in association with Drafthouse Films, Timpson Films. Produced by Ant Timpson, Tim League. Executive producer, Tom Quinn. Reviewed at Toronto Film Festival (Midnight Madness), Sept. 12, 2012. (Also in Hawaii Film Festival.) Running time: 130 MIN.

Crew: Apocalypse
Directed by Nacho Vigalondo.

Bigfoot
Directed by Adrian Garcia Bogliano.

Cycle
Directed by Ernesto Diaz Espinoza.

Dogfight
Directed by Marcel Sarmiento.

Exterminate
Directed by Angela Bettis.

Fart
Directed by Noburo Iguchi.

Gravity
Directed by Andrew Traucki.

Hydro-Electric Diffusion
Directed by Thomas Cappelen Malling.

Ingrown
Directed by Jorge Michel Grau.

Jidai-Geki
Directed by Yudai Yamaguchi.

Klutz
Directed by Anders Morgenthaler.

Libido
Directed by Timo Tjahjanto.

Miscarriage
Directed by Ti West.

Nuptials
Directed by Banjong Pisanthanakun.

Orgasm
Directed by Bruno Forzani, Helene Cattet.

Pressure
Directed by Simon Rumley.

Quack
Directed by Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett.

Removed
Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic.

Speed
Directed by Jake West.

Toilet
Directed by Lee Hardcastle.

Unearthed
Directed by Ben Wheatley.

Vagitus
Directed by Kaare Andrews.

WTF!
Directed by Jon Schnepp.

XXL
Directed by Xavier Gens.

Youngbuck
Directed by Jason Eisener.

Zetsumetsu
Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura.

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