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SELLER: Not A Celebrity
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $11,995,000
SIZE: 13,250 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, Your Mama feels like veering a little off track this afternoon. Instead of our customary celebrity real estate fare we’re gonna have a wee look-see at Artemesia, a wet-your-pants-with-awe Craftsman-style architectural tour de force privately positioned on 1.79 acres in the hills above Hollywood and newly listed with an asking price of $11,995,000.

Listing information shows the hulking but achingly elegant and intricately articulated main house—the largest Craftsman-style house in the U.S., built in 1913 and painstakingly restored and upgraded over the last 25 years by its businessman owner—measures in at 13,250 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.

A long, gated drive passes though a porte-cochere, wraps around the front of the house and continues up the hillside to a detached and deliciously stodgy red brick structure with a garage on the lower level and additional living space above for guests or live-in domestic staff.

Numerous terraces and deep, shaded porches surround the house and give way to thickly wooded hillside grounds laced with pathways and dotted with water falls and ponds.

Rather than prattle on endlessly as we’re want to do most of the time, we’re just gonna leave y’all to gasp, drool and weep with real estate envy. We suggest you take special note of the ceiling treatments in the formal living and dining rooms; the built-in pipe organ in the living room; the 6 enormous Batchelder tile fireplaces; the roller rink-sized ballroom on the lowest level with full bar and the stoutest of stout columns; the intricate, artisanal carpentry throughout; the barrel-vaulted, green-tiled bathroom with step-down shower; and the kill-me-now-we’re-in-heaven sleeping porch with Murphy bed.

P.S. Lots more photos to pore over here and here. The swooniest of the listing snaps can be perused here.

listing photos: Michael McNamara (Shooting LA) for  Keller Williams Beverly Hills