SELLER: Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 3,803 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
NOTE TO THE CHILDREN: Before we get to the meat of the matter Your Mama feels the (probably unwise) compulsion to address the few but wicked-tongued naysayers who have reared their angry heads here the last few weeks.
Despite what some of y’all may think, the truth of the matter is, due to the nature of providing regular and ongoing content for this here blog-thingy and the various other (sometimes related) projects we having going at any given time Your Mama can’t recall having more than three days off in a row in more than five years. That’s not a complaint, just a statement of fact. Don’t believe Your Mama? Ask our spouse The Dr. Cooter who sometimes gets (justifiably) annoyed at the amount of time we spend around here or any of the 292 posts we’ve put up so far this year or the 425 posts we did in 2011. Some of y’all may not always care for the schedule we keep, the bastardized syntax we sometimes use and/ or appreciate the quality of the “celebrity” we’re discussing on any given day but that don’t mean we’re slacking off. Bitch, pleeze.
We love working our little online endeavor, but like everyone else, sometimes Your Mama needs a day here and a day there to take care of personal business. We’re not really sure who these people are who think we or anybody else ought to be chained to our trusty (if sometimes mercurial) laptop computer seven days a week but that’s just ludicrous. Don’t like it? Well, that’s just do damn bad for you, ain’t it? Think we ought to hire someone to help when we’re otherwise occupied with such trivialities of life as, say, selling a house and moving to a new city as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are doing right now? How about you volunteer your services or, better yet, cough up a fat donation to help pay for a back up girl. We may be married to a doctuh, hunties, but that don’t mean Your Mama don’t have to bring in some dinero to help maintain our household.
So, seriously, settle down now, take your blood pressure medication, mix a gin & tonic and get a damn grip before you give yourself a heart attack griping about some silly blog focused on the terrifically inane and entirely inconsequential (yet intriguing) milieu of celebrity real estate. Capiche? Capiche.
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Now then, let’s move on…
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Maybe it’s because those hunky but whiny Winklevii twins just dropped $18,000,000 for the pushy-sexy and newly-completed contemporary crib next door or maybe, of course, it’s some other entirely different reason but whatever the reason(s) Emmy-winning sitcom star Megan Mullally and wood-working actor Nick Offerman recently put their longtime Los Angeles, CA residence up for sale with a $12,650,000 price tag.
Miz Mullally’s to-date professional pinnacle came in the late 1990s as the acerbic, sassy and ostentatiously rich Karen Walker on Will & Grace, a role for which she received two Emmys and numerous more nominations. Since that program went dark in 2006 the petite fireplug has—ahem—shilled for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and shaken her money maker in a number of recurring roles on a variety of tee-vee projects including (the short-form) Children’s Hospital and the highly regarded sitcom Parks & Recreation.
Her droll hubby Nick Offerman, a capable and accomplished wood-worker and furniture maker in his spare time, has toiled in Tinseltown for an ice age but didn’t really get his big Showbiz break until 2009 when he appeared in the quirky movie The Men Who Stare at Goats and was cast the same year as the lovably dystopic Libertarian Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation. Like his wife, Mister Offerman also appears regularly on the long-running, short-form sitcom Childrens Hospital.
Property records show Miz Mullally and Mister Offerman purchased the 1963 contemporary, a crisp collection of white cubes tucked behind a tall, painstakingly maintained and very green hedge, in March 2003 for $3,950,000. It doesn’t take an arithmetic expert to recognize that should the homebody sitcommers realize a sale price anywhere near their asking price they’ll be rolling in real estate clover to be sure.
The single story residence, fairly modestly scaled for well-to-do Tinseltown types and photographed for the glossy pages of the September 2010 issue of Elle Decor, measures 3,803 square feet with, according to current listing information, three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.
Although Miz Mullally has a keen interest in and knack for the decorative arts—she told the Elle Decor people she’d pick interior decorator as a second career—the day-core was done up and did over with the guidance of talented L.A.-based lady-decorator and shopkeeper Ames Ingham who balanced snow white walls, ebony-stained wood floors and (mostly) neutral-toned linen and velvet upholstered pieces with bold graphic patterns and vivid zings of bright and saturated color.
The long, sky-lit entrance hall hung—with nearby powder pooper sheathed in exquisite black and white peacock feature print wall covering by murdered Australian textile designer Florence Broadhurst—extends deep into the house where it pops opens up to a low-key “formal” living room with fireplace, multiple seating areas, and wide bank of windows that frame a ponderous view of Los Angeles that extends—on a clear day—beyond the gleaming towers of Century City to the Pacific Ocean.
A matching set of framed, suzani print panels in the otherwise all black and white dining room flank the doorway to the relatively compact, clean-lined kitchen. Current online listings don’t show the kitchen but in the Elle Decor spread it’s shown cleanly outfitted in flat-fronted, white-washed oak cabinetry with simple, nipple-like pulls, buff-colored CaesarStone countertops and, natch, high-grade appliances. The adjoining breakfast/family room takes on a decidedly feminine pink-, fuchsia- and plum-accented color palette with an abstract print rug and a lovely collection of small artworks hung salon-style.
Like the living room, the serene, nearly all white master bedroom opens to the back yard and view through a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows and the attached bathroom is equipped with a separate soaking tub and shower and custom, white-washed oak cabinetry similar (if not identical) to that in the kitchen.
The wedge-shaped backyard may be small but it’s flat—a real estate blessing in these steep-ravined parts—and offers a few terraces up near the house, a good sized lawn for the pooches and other household pets to do their dirty bizness, and a plunge-sized swimming pool ringed by eight meticulously clipped and damn cute boxwood orbs. Then, of course, there’s the view, the exact sort of thing multi-million dollar real estate dreams are woven with in Los Angeles.
In addition to the Mullally-Offermans and those Winklevii fellas, the Bird Streets neighborhood—so-called because all the streets are named after birds, natch—is home to scads of rich and famous folks who include (bur are far from limited to) Keanu Reeves, Leonardo Di Caprio, and prolific songwriter Diane Warren who bought her H-shaped house way back in 1995 for $2,625,000 from billionaire media and music mogul David Geffen.
listing photos: Keller Williams Beverly Hills