More than 9.3 million viewers watched alien visitors on ABC Tuesday night. It’s only too bad, for the network’s sake, most of them tuned in after “V.”

Although I’ve watched the Charlie Sheen circus unfold the last several days, I have to say seeing Sheen’s assembled non sequiturs in one place made for riveting train-wreck TV. It was hard to look away, fascinating to absorb the sheer self-delusion, and truly remarkable that he’s been able to successfully function this long.

Of course, the journalist in me completely agrees with Los Angeles Times columnist James Rainey’s take, that the media have embarrassingly whored themselves out for a piece of this carnival act. ABC got punked by NBC, which still looked idiotic for trumpeting its big “get.” It’s hardly a “get,” folks, when everybody — including a satellite 9/11 Truther and the exiled former host of “Access Hollywood” — has already gotten it.

And please, spare us the faux concern. The network bookers care not a whit about Sheen or his kids, just drafting off his self-destructive tidal wave. And God knows, they’ve treated this like it’s the most important thing going on in the world, which is painfully silly given what’s unfolding throughout the Middle East.

Charliesheen And yet … it’s not really their job to take the match and gasoline can out of the guy’s hand, is it?

The greater hypocrisy, actually, is in trying to generalize from Sheen’s behavior, as “Nightline” and KCBS-TV did, lumping in other “troubled” stars like Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera.

Sorry, but right now, Sheen is in a class all by himself. And if I were at CBS and Warner Bros., I’d thank ABC and NBC for their contributions to the network’s defense in Sheen’s lawsuit. Because all you have to do in court is run those interviews and say, “Excuse me, but we’re supposed to work with that?”