The cranky old survivors in the TV press are no doubt going to be even crankier by the end of the current TV Critics Assn. tour if the quality of some questions posed to CNN’s Piers Morgan are any indication of what’s to come.

In the 15 minutes I sat in the room (which was about all I could take), Morgan was asked a lot of questions that sounded like somebody who is either A) selling random quotes to magazines or B) studying up for a metaphysics exam.

“What do you most fear in life?” he was asked, by the same person who wanted to know, “What would you tell your younger self?”

I have a lot of advice I’d like to give Young Mr. Lowry, but actually, all I could think of Thursday was how much I’d love to go back in time and tell myself to bring a fluffy cream pie so I’d be prepared to hit that woman in the face with it.

Morgan was also asked (jokingly, thank goodness) how his sex life is. You’ll be happy to know the answer was just swell, which makes him the perfect person to replace Larry King.

Hey, we get it, they have to fill the room at press tour somehow with so many old-fangled TV critics having lost their gigs, and there’s a wider variety of bloggers and freelancers on hand. But yikes, especially as a local, don’t be surprised if you don’t see me there much — or even a younger version of me.