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In light of the reports that Hugh Grant was considered to take a leading role in “Two and a Half Men” Charliesheen next season, I think we’ve narrowed down the critieria being used to identify possible replacements for Charlie Sheen. Here, in fact, is the “help wanted” ad posted by the network and Warner Bros. Television:

HELP WANTED: Actor to play prominent role in longrunning network comedy series. Roguish charm is a plus, and network TV experience is not necessary. Experience with prostitutes — even if it has been discussed and exposed in a very public way — is not a problem. Must be able to work in collaborative fashion with producers, or at least refrain from publicly trashing them. Willingness to do necessary publicity is required, but stepping out of the role to express personal opinions on 9/11 conspiracy theories, President Obama’s birth certificate or the benefits of living in a non-traditional home situation is discouraged. Domestic disturbances should also be kept to a minimum, and network/studio must be notified at least 30 days in advance of intent to enter a rehab facility. Maintaining a sense of humor about the producer’s “vanity cards” is recommended.

Please send resume, photo and most recent mug shot c/o Warner Bros. Television.