Coven tells Sheen witch way to go

Warlocks publicly intervene with actors' antics

It was a rough week for notorious winner Charlie Sheen. First he’s dismissed from “Two and a Half Men,” and then he’s kicked out of the coven.

Sheen had referred to himself as a “Vatican assassin warlock” during a radio interview, which angered members of the Coven of the Raven Moon in Salem, Mass. Yep, that Salem. The one with the statue of Elizabeth Montgomery.

The posse of witches and warlocks that gathered March 6 at a witchcraft store in Salem — and might have been at home on the Ward family couch in “The Fighter” — were wicked pissed at “Chahlie” for associating warlocks with violence.

In a five-minute “magical intervention,” coven members summoned the archangels of the four corners of the world, along with a skull they’d named Robert, in a bid to bind Sheen from harming himself and others (well, actually, “hahming”).

“May you find healing and open your eyes; we bind you from harm in the craft of the wise,” three coven members intoned three times after lighting candles and shaking a talisman head of Anubis, particularly potent these days considering events in Egypt.

“There is great spiritual power in the power of three,” warlock Christian Day told the Boston Globe. “It creates a triangle of power that can do anything.”

Clearly, it’s a mightier number than 2 1/2. Or now, 1 1/2.