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There may be a more inept film this year than Francesco Gasperoni’s “Parking Lot 3D,” just as there may be life on Mars. Billed as the first commercial live-action 3D Italo feature, the pic is a clunker about a woman trapped in a parking garage and tormented by three guys playing a sadistic game. Poorly scripted, atrociously acted and helmed with zero feel for composition or 3D, Gasperoni’s sophomore effort generates many laughs, none of which are intentional. Despite mostly English-lingo dialogue, “Parking Lot” has the commercial prospects of an Edsel.

Englishwoman-in-Italy Lorna (Harriet MacMasters-Green, wooden) gets locked in a garage and then mysteriously Tasered. On coming to, she sees the message “Lorna Come & Play” on the bathroom wall, beginning a game of cat-and-mouse. Rather than succumbing to nonexistent tension, viewers will be asking: Why can’t she find her car? Attempts at background stories fall flat, while making Lorna a diabetic adds nothing, since the script itself forgets her approaching insulin shock. Gasperoni devised a cheap 3D camera to prove the medium’s economic efficiency, yet his maladroit use of visual planes renders the format pointless.

Parking Lot 3D

Italy

  • Production: A MovieMaker production. Executive producers, Francesco Gasperoni, Harriet MacMasters-Green. Co-executive producer, Pierfrancesco Fiorenza. Directed by Francesco Gasperoni. Screenplay, Harriet MacMasters-Green, Gasperoni.
  • Crew: Camera (color, DV, 3D), Gasperoni, Corrado Serri; editor, Claudio Del Bravo; music, Daniele Falangone; production designer, Roberto Conforti; costume designer, Claudia Quintavalle. Reviewed at Taormina Film Festival (Teatro Antico), June 16, 2011. Running time: 84 MIN.
  • With: With: Harriet MacMasters-Green, Francesco Martino, Massimo De Lorenzo, Marius Bizau, Tara Lisa Haggiag. (English, Italian dialogue)
  • Music By: