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 Your Mama suggests the children sit down and swaller a nerve pill because several reports from (reputable) New York City real estate gossip columns claim that very controversial former Citigroup CEO Sanford “Sandy” Weill sold–for the full asking price–the opulent New York City penthouse he slung on the open market with much hullabaloo just over a month ago with a glass shattering $88,000,000 price tag and a very public promise to donate the sale proceeds to unspecified philanthropic causes.

The first reports out of the New York Observer on Sunday pinned the prodigious purchase atop limestone sheathed 15 Central Park West on Russian chemist turned multi-billionaire potash potentate Dmitry Rybolovlev, a man who sold his multi-pronged fertilizer concern last year for around $6,500,000,000 and is said to be worth somewhere in the neighborhood of 9.5 billion bucks.

The folks at Forbes quickly followed up with an important (and flabbergasting) clarification: The Weill spread, 6,744 square feet of immaculate interior space with a wide terrace that wraps around three sides of the apartment with drop dead park and city views, was not actually purchased by Mister Rybolovlev but rather Ekaterina Rybolovleva, his horse-minded 22-year old second daughter, reportedly a resident of Monaco, a student at an unnamed U.S. University, and a competitive equestrian.

Forbes actually received a statement from young Miss Rybolovleva’s representative(s) who revealed the barely legal heiress “plans to stay in the apartment when visiting New York.” That’s right, “when visiting.” This pampered whippersnapper–a college student, mind y’all–just dropped a record breaking $88,000,000 on a god damn pied à terre.

This news comes on the heels of the $85,000,000 purchase of The Manor, showbiz widow Candy Spelling’s severely bloated behemoth in Los Angeles acquired earlier in the year by 22-year old London-based Formula One racing heiress (and out-and-out real estate size queen) Petra Ecclestone. Doth we spot a budding real estate trend, children? College-aged scions with multiple part-time residences around the world that each cost more than the GDP of any number of nations in sub-Saharan Africa? Have mercy.

Whether an emerging real estate trend or not Your Mama smells a back story to the Rybolovlev(a) acquisition that we suspect has less to do with one globe-trotting über-heiress with a thing for pricey pieds à terre trying to outdo another globe-trotting über-heiress with a thing for pricey pieds à terre than it does an exceedingly wealthy international businessman managing his vast fortune in a manner advantageous to his jam-packed pocketbook and swollen real estate portfolio.

We don’t know a roller coaster from a dirt clod but we can imagine this pricey procurement could be a good thing for Mister Rybolovlev’s tax situation, an easy place to park a substantial amount of cash or possibly have something to do with the ongoing divorce battle with his soon to be ex-wife Elena who has requested the Swiss courts grant her half of everything he’s got including the keys and deed to Maison La Amitie, the grotesquely opulent, 33,000 square foot ocean front residence in Palm Beach, FL for which Mister Rybolovlev paid Donald Trump $95,000,000 in cold hard cash back in the summer of 2008.

Mister Weill and his wife Joan coughed up $43,687,750–or $42,405,000 depending on where one looks–for the Robert A.M. Stern designed and Mica Ertegun decorated penthouse at 15 Central Park West back in August 2007. At the time it was one of the highest amounts paid per square foot for a private residence in Manhattan. The single-level, mansion-sized penthouse carries, according to listing information we peeped, monthly maintenance fees and taxes that total $13,824.

A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama’s bejeweled abacus shows that Mister Weill now has $44,312,250–or $45,595,000–less capital gains and no-doubt substantial real estate fees to donate to the charity or charities of his choice.

As far as we know Mister and Missus Weill continue to own and maintain a much smaller apartment on a much lower floor at 15 Central Park West, a significant estate in big money Greenwich, CT, a camp in the Adirondacks, and a nearly 400 acre spread in Sonoma, CA they scooped up in October 2010 for (a reported) $31,000,000.

floor plan: Brown Harris Stevens