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CBS has got Bieber Fever


Bieber
(Fingers crossed) Please let him be the victim of a grizzly crime! Please let him be the victim of a grizzly crime! Please let him be the victim of a grizzly crime!

What, too mean?

Yes, it’s true: Internet dreamboy Justin Bieber is set to star in the season premiere of “CSI.” Sez CBS:

Bieber will play Jason McCann, a troubled teen who is faced with a terrible decision regarding his only brother—a decision that leads him into an explosive confrontation with the CSIs. It is the beginning of an emotional story that will conclude later in the season.

(Fingers crossed) Please let that “explosive confrontation” mean a white boy dance-off between Bieber and George Eads! Please let that “explosive confrontation” mean a white boy dance-off between Bieber and George Eads!

Here’s executive Producers Carol Mendelsohn, Don McGill and Anthony Zuiker said in joint statement. (Imagine them sitting in a row and saying each word, one by one.):

“Every 20 years, a phenomenon like Justin Bieber graces our world. We’d like to believe that the phenomenon of CSI has had the same impact on popular culture. The opportunity to bring them together in the premiere is a great treat for our audience and all of its new viewers. This will be true event television,” Executive Producers Carol Mendelsohn, Don McGill and Anthony Zuiker said in joint statement. “We’re looking forward to Justin’s dramatic star turn, not only in the premiere, but in a continuing seasonal arc.”

Every 20 years? Hmm. Who are they referring to from 1990? Vanilla Ice? Bell Biv DeVoe? Nelson? Tommy Page? (YES! Justin Bieber is the Tommy Page of 2010. Google it.)

According to the Bieber release, he is the youngest male solo artist in the history of the Billboard charts to chart a #1 album since 13-year-old Little Stevie Wonder in the summer of
1963.

“CBS? What’s that?” said one 15-year-old Justin Bieber fan. “Actually, what’s network TV? And what’s an album? And why are you asking me these questions, creep-o? Gimmie back my Nintendo DS.”

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