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Your Mama is well aware that any number of the children would rather roll themselves in flour and dip themselves in a deep fryer before reading another damn word about VIP ho-stess turned Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel, who received a rumored and reported ten million clams from Mister Woods for keeping her trap shut about their alleged affair. So, iffin you don’t want to know about Miss Uchitel’s real estate doings–and who could blame a person for not caring a whit?–then move right along until Your Mama gets to something more agreeable to your palette. Okaaay?

Last week all the celebrity real estate gossips were atwitter about Miss Uchitel allegedly snatching up a two million dollar condo on Park Avenue. At the time, based on information from previous reports, Your Mama speculated that Miss Uchitel was fixing to buy an 8th floor apartment listed at $1,995,000 at The Griffon, a lovely, full-service pre-war building located on a lackluster stretch of Park Avenue just below Grand Central Station.

As it turns out, Miss Uchitel opted for a lower priced apartment on a lower floor at The Griffon. According to Housing Watch, Miss Uchitel just moments ago signed papers to purchase a condo at The Griffon paying $1,625,000 for a a 3 bedroom and 3 pooper unit on a low floor that was last listed at $1,849,000. How does Housing Watch know this the children might ask? Apparently the listing agent for the property, a Corcoran agent by the name of Beth Benalloul, walked out of the closing and immediately called the peeps at Housing Watch with all the doodoo on the deal.

According to Miss Benalloul via Housing Watch, Miss Uchitel does not plan on making the apartment her primary residence and may choose to rent the unit out for as much as $8,500 per month. The 6-room apartment, which has a fireplace, separate dining room, small but proper foyer, 6 closets, a renovated galley style kitchen, and hardwood floors, carries monthly maintenance charges of $1,600 with another $1,313 additional per month in taxes.

The children might be amused to know that the otherwise ho-hum building gained some infamy back in 1936 when one of its residents, a Mrs. Abraham Z. Schiebel, aka Mary Briggs, was arrested, prosecuted, and jailed running a place of prostitution out of her apartment. We’ll let the children decide for themselves if there’s any irony there or not.

Now then, let’s all hope this matter is put to bed for good.

listing photos: Corcoran