Oh No He Didn’t…

Your Mama has been getting heaps and hordes of communiques from across the pond–not to mention a ringy-dingy from the folks at Inside Edition–enquiring about an article in the British tabloid The Daily Mail about Brad Pitt purchasing himself a £700,000 bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills–that’s $1,130,680 to all us Americanos–where he can go to, “help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie.”

Bollocks. Hogwash. Bosh. A bunch of hooey we say.

Listen children, Your Mama doesn’t have any idea if Pitt/Jolie’s relationship is on the rocks and swirling down the terlit of love nor do we know anything about whether they did or did not meet with a fancy Beverly Hills attorney to draw up papers outlining how they would split their fortune and share their multi-cultural brood of 967 children iffin they were to go their separate ways.

What Your Mama does know–besides that we think that hair ball on Mister Pitt’s chinny chin chin looks like it might have bugs living in it–is that property records do indeed reveal that Mister Pitt did recently buy another house in Los Angeles. But–and this is a big ol‘ but butter beans–what The Daily Mail declines or does not know better than to report is that the house the article describes as oozing with character and including 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a bar area and a cave built into the foundations is actually adjacent–as in next damn door–to Mister Pitt’s longtime compound in The Oaks, a neighborhood in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles.

On the 15th of January, 2010 Mister Big Time reported that Mister Pitt forked over $1,100,000 for a 3,232 square foot house that, “his estate largely had surrounded,” bringing his multi-parcel and multi-structure compound to almost 2 acres. Mister Big Time also quite thoughtfully linked over to a previous post about the property on Curbed LA, written long prior to Mister Pitt’s purchase, that quoted listing information that described the 1920’s residence as, “in need of TLC.” Based on the photographs, we’d say the house being “in need of TLC” is being kind.

Now, y’all tell me, doesn’t it seem a wee bit strange and–let’s be honest–utterly unlikely that Mister Pitt would buy a virtually uninhabitable fixer upper right next door to the compound that he owned long before he’d ever hooked up with Miss Jolie so that he could get away from his earth mommy ladee-mate Ms. Jolie? Even if what Mister Pitt wanted was a “bachelor pad,” so that he could escape Ms. Jolie and her baby making/adopting ways, don’t y’all think he’d be smart enough to buy one he could actually live in? Besides, it seems to Your Mama’s pea brain that if either of these two were going to decamp to a new crib, it would be Ms. Jolie who would be moving out of Mister Pitt’s Los Feliz pad, right?

It all seems especially absurd when you consider that the couple also have that big estate in France and own a huge house in New Orleans. Mister Pitt also owns an ocean front house in Malee-boo–that he owned prior to hooking up with Ms. Jolie–and another ocean front compound just west of Santa Barbara, CA that he also owned before getting bizzy and making babies with Ms. Jolie. It would seem that there are already plenty of properties where Mister Pitt can go to lick his “dee-vorce” wounds should that become necessary, so this bizness about buying a bachelor pad seems, well, rather silly.

Frankly, Your Mama has no vested interest in whether Mister Pitt and Ms. Jolie stay coupled. However, iffin we had to bet, we’d put our pennies on the spot that says it’s more likely they’ll adopt of baby from Haiti than part ways. But then again, we’re not the gambling type and what do we know anyway?

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