Rumors have been running all kinds of wild for the past few days that recently dee–vorced and a lot less rich Tiger “Can’t Keep It In His Khakis” Woods moved some crap into a downtown New York City rental apartment last weekend.
The scuttlebutt baby seems to have been birthed on the US magazine website that quoted an unnamed “witness” as saying that Mister Woods introduced himself as “the new neighbor.” The story was quickly picked up but the kind folks at Curbed who speculated that the 34-year old golf phenom might choose a celebrity packed building such as the Superior Ink in the West Village that has celeb friendly amenities such as a residents only indoor parking garage for discreet entries and exits. Curbed quickly added an update to their report that a CNBC sports business reporter tweeted that the stories of Tiger’s new New York City digs were not true.
The next gossip cowboy to ride the rumor was the NY Daily News who reported that Mister Woods was seen unloading boxes and golf clubs from a double parked BMW and into an unidentified Hudson Street building. Never one to walk away from a pretty face–or large mammaries–Mister Woods allegedly stopped to pet the puppy of the very same “pretty brunette” who tattled to the Daily News about Mister Woods’ alleged new bachelor pad in the West Village.
Once again the good people at Curbed quickly picked up the story, identifying the building pictured in the Daily News item as the Printing House condo building on Hudson Street in the lower and far West Village neighborhood (above). If all the real estate rumbling about Mister Woods getting himself a part-time pied a terre at the Printing House has any veracity–and we have no idea if it does or not–Your Mama imagines that part of the appeal of the Printing House building for Mister Woods may have been the boo-teek rooftop gym that includes squash courts, yoga and pilates classes, and a rooftop swimming pool and sundeck. Sounds like the perfect place for a horny public figure to semi-discreetly pick up large chested and hard bodied babes and get them downstairs for some bowmchickabowbowm without anyone being the wiser. Okay, that’s naughty and nasty and probably uncalled for but he’s proven himself to be shady that way, you know?
In other Tiger Woods related real estate news, former squeeze Rachel Uchitel–who was reportedly paid ten million big ones by Mister Woods to keep her luscious lips shut–reportedly wants to purchase a newly renovated 3 bedroom and 3 pooper Park Avenue apartment priced at $1,995,000. The problem is, according to the tabs, the condo board is getting all persnickety and balking at the notion of having such a notorious (and alleged) home wrecker as Miss Uchitel living up in their midst.
Honestly chickens, Your Mama didn’t know nor do we think that the board of a condominium building gets a say on who can or can not buy an apartment in the building. Of course Your Mama don’t know a cook book from a cup of coffee but it’s our understanding that that particular privilege of black balling potential apartment buyers–iffin anyone wants to call it a privilege–is the exclusive domain of the boards of co-operative buildings and not condo buildings.
Anyhoo and whatever the case, Your Mama did a little research and the only recently renovated 3 bedroom 3 pooper Park Avenue apartment we could find currently on the market at $1,995,000 is an 8th floor number in a pre-war building on lower Park Avenue at 39th Street, just three short blocks south of Grand Central Station (above). The apartment includes a wood burning fireplace in the living room, a small dining room, granite counter tops in the kitchen and–glory be!–windows in each of the three poopers for airing out Miss Uchitel’s stank.
The children may recall that in December of 2009 Your Mama dissed and dis-cussed Miss Uchitel’s ground floor 2 bedroom and 2 pooper apartment at the Turnberry Place condo complex in Las Vegas, NV that she had–and still has–on the market with an asking price of $1,350,000.
For what it’s worth–and it ain’t worth a penny–we just find it sort of strange that Mister Woods might even want to maintain a residence in the very same city where Rachel Uchitel is allegedly trying to set down some real estate roots. But then again, what city could Tiger Woods live or spend time where he hasn’t already gotten in trouble for schtupping a stripper, porn star, or a star fucker?