SELLER: Janice Min
LOCATION: Lafayette Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $7,395,000
SIZE: 3,795 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama plans to spend most of today watching the cacti grow but before we find a shady spot in the yard to plant our fat ass we thought we’d piggy back on Gawker’s recent discussion of gossip queen Janice Min listing her loft in New York City’s SoHo neighborhood at a ear piercing asking price of $7,395,000.

Miz Min, for those who may not recognize her name, was the editor-in-chief of Us Weekly. She’s the ladee responsible for promoting every move, mistake an fart of folks like Paris Hilton, the octo-mom, Kate Gosselin and that sad, washed up Lindsay Lohan gurl who is so desperate to protect her, ahem, good name that she’s resorted to suing ETrade for $100,000,000 because they named one of the talking babies in one of their boob-toob commercials Lindsay the “milkaholic.” Anyhoo, Miz Min resigned her post as the King of the Gossip Queens last year and it’s rumored and reported that she may move on to producing a celebrity-mom based website for butchy butch media tycoon Barry Diller. We can’t imagine anything more inane or pretentious than a website on which celebrity mommies give parenting advice to regular, sleep deprived and nanny-free mommies.

Property records show that Miz Min and her schoolteacher huzband paid $4,050,000 for their loft in late October of 2005. It doesn’t take much manipulating of the well worn beads on Your Mama’s bejeweled abacus to see that Miz Min and her schoolteacher huzband are hoping to just about double their money on the 3,795 square foot loft space.

Listing information shows the corner loft is located in a pre-war full-service condo buildings and that a keyed elevator opens directly into the L-shaped dining/living/kitchen/media/den space that has 14 windows, 5 columns, delicious caramel colored hardwood floors, rough hewn oak beams from the 1890s and stretches a staggering 68-feet long from end to end.

Your Mama is not fond of loft living–we prefer actual rooms that provide some intimacy but still flow nicely into each other–and we’re a little non-plussed with the rather generic day-core but we are covetous of the multi-colored striped rugs in the dining and living rooms. The gore-may kitchen is fitted with Italian cabinetry in a taupe-y gray color, arctic white counter tops, and a slew of high grade stainless steel appliances that, according to listing information, include “two Miele dishwashers, a 4 burner Viking range with grill, a French door SubZero refrigerator with 4 freezer drawers, a Miele espresso maker, warming tray and combination microwave convection oven.”

There are two bedrooms and 2.5 poopers including a gigantic master bedroom with a sitting/exercise area, two standard-sized closets, a third walk-in closet, and a five-piece marble lined pooper that includes a steam shower. Your Mama would have preferred to see slab marble in the pooper rather than the smaller cut pieces that make for an interesting visual grid but also compete with the natural vein of the marble. What we do like in there is the black tile in the back of the shower which makes a nice counter point to all the white marble tile work.

Other residents of Miz Min’s high-profile building include David Bowie and his long-necked model wife Iman and boo-teek hotelier Ian Schrager whose 3,990 square foot dooplex penthouse was listed last year with an asking price of $12,500,000 and is now, according to StreetEasy, in contract.