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SELLER: Ashley Olsen
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,399,000
SIZE: 2,332 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Oh dear. Hold on to your boot straps children because it looks like another celeb is gonna take it hard in her real estate pocketbook. In just the last week alone we’ve had Eddie Cibrian out in Calabasas and Scarlett Johansson and her multi-million dollar real estate reality check. Now we’ve got wonder twin Ashley Olsen who recently listed a Hancock Park area home with an asking price of $1,399,000.

Records and previous reports show that in December of 2007, Little Miss Ashley Olsen–she’s the one who does not dress like a very rich and homeless senior citizen–forked over $1,575,000 for a surprisingly modest Spanish style casa in a Los Angeles neighborhood near but not technically in Hancock Park. Your Mama feels the need to be quite specific about that or we will get read the riot act by a bunch of righteously angered Hancock Parkians who are very, very particular about where the parameters and borders of the star studded neighborhood are drawn.

If we flick a few of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus we quickly discover that the former child star turned teenage tycoon turned fashion maven is looking at a loss of $175,000 plus real estate fees. And that, chickens, is if she snags a buyer willing to pay her full asking price. No doubt the fur loving minikin magnate can well afford to lose a couple hundred thousand dollars but, children, whether y’all like it or not rich people bleed just like every one else and no matter how much money a person might have it’s never nice to lose a few hundred thousand bucks.

Property records show the corner casa was built in 1928, measures 2,232 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 3 poopers. Current listing information shows there are only 3 bedrooms and 2.5 poopers on the property. As usual, we don’t know why the discrepancy.

The walled, gated and hedged house includes a good-sized living room with a beamed ceiling, a fireplace with a lovely arched opening, chestnut colored herringbone patterned wood floors that look like they might benefit from a fresh sanding, and French doors that open to a covered patio which overlooks the minimally landscaped courtyard, the driveway and beyond that, the swimming pool. The beamed ceiling and herringbone patterned floors continue into the dining room but unfortunately do not extend into the kitchen where the cabinets have been painted white with dark insets–ugh–and above the kitchen sink is one of those greenhouse windows that Your Mama loathes with every fiber of our snarky being and where some folks have a disturbing tendency to showcase their collection of frog figurines, sun catchers or other crap that would be far better displayed in the garbage receptacle. As far as Your Mama is concerned the only suitable use for these greenhouse window things is for growing herbs and even that we can’t recommend because we hate those things so much.

A period, tiled staircase leads to the upstairs bedrooms and a second floor balcony overlooking the back yard. Just like we discussed when we prattled on about this house when Little Miss Ashley purchased it in 2007, we do like the swimming pool that is slightly raised up off the ground with a nice blue stone surround–or something similar to blue stone–but we are still more than a little bothered by the notion that in order to get to the swimming pool one must squeeze past the Range Rover and cross the driveway while wearing a teeny bikini or less.

It’s unclear to Your Mama if Miss Ashley Olsen ever parked her black Prius here in this gated driveway or if she ever occupied this house in any sort of meaningful manner because we just have a difficult time accepting that the current day-core–if if can be called that–represents Miss Ashley Olsen’s taste furnishings. But then again, what do we really know about Miss Ashley Olsen’s proclivities concerning dining room tables or bathroom sinks that bear a disturbing resemblance to a sea shell? Nuthin‘, that’s what. Whatever the case, according to listing information, a few improvements were made to the property including installing in a new central heat and air system, laying down a new driveway and re-tiling the poopers. None of these things are hugely expensive updates, but they do add to the pile of dough she’s going to lose on this deal.

Interestingly and shockingly, public records show that a nasty “Notice of Default” was filed on the property in April of 2009. Records also show that a “Notice of Recission” was filed in August of 2009 indicating any issue was resolved. Your Mama has to assume that bit of ugliness was due to sort of paper work error because Little Miss Ashley Olsen could by this house ten times over with cash so it’s a bit unlikely she’d default on a $1,260,000 mortgage.

Your Mama has sort of lost touch with the real estate whereabouts of the Olsen twins. Although the maintained a residence in Los Angeles, the elfin gurls decamped for New York in 2004 where they both enrolled at New York University. They bought and renovated a large apartment at 1 Morton Square. According to Miss Ashley Olsen in an online article we can no longer find, they never moved in to the Hudson view crib and instead leased a $12,000 per month triplex apartment in a West 13th Street townhouse where they angered and irked the neighbors with their security guards and armada of SUVs idling on the street. Eventually, in late 2006, they sold their Hal Leavitt house on Los Angele’s Ashdale Place for $3,850,000.

By 2007, both pint-sized poobahs had dropped out of NYU–who needs an edumuhcation when you’re 24) and you’ve already got a couple hundred million clams?–and listed the condo in November of 2007 with an asking price of $11,995,000. After switching brokers and a price chop or two that brought the price tag down to $9,995,000, the 5 bedroom and 4.5 pooper apartment was taken off the market and leased out. We don’t know who the tenant is or how much they’re paying, but our research shows the 5,725 square foot condo was last listed with a monthly asking price of $42,500.

Back in Los Angeles, Miss Mary-Kate leased very private house with powerful panoramic views up on Robin Drive above Sunset Plaza. We know from our informants that she’s moved from there, but as of today Your Mama does not have any idea where she’s living.