Your Mama Hears…

…That actress and “singer” Scarlett Johansson’s real estate saga is finally over. That’s right puppies, Your Mama was just informed by an informant we’ll call Chateau Briand that ScarJo has indeed and finally unloaded her real estate white elephant located in the Outpost Estates neighborhood in Los Angeles.

If the children put on their thinking caps they will recall that Miz Johansson paid $7,000,000 for a 4 bedroom and 5.5 pooper Spanish style casa in May of 2007. This would have been the apex of the now dramatically burst real estate bubble and long before she married her husband Ryan Reynolds whose abdominal muscles ripple like the wash board Your Mama’s granny Rayna used to warsh her clothes.

By April of 2009 whispers and rumors started to slip down the real estate gossip grapevine and into Your Mama’s bulging inbox that the chesty Miss Johansson–who had by then become Missus Reynolds–wanted to sell the house even though she’d spent a pretty penny or two on renovations and, according to our snitches, had spent very little time actually living up in the Spanish style casa.

Ten months later, in early February of 2010, the 4,352 square foot residence was, not exactly surprisingly, hoisted on the open market with an asking price of $4,995,000, more than two million smackers less than she paid for the place. By February of 2010 the asking price had slipped all the way down to $4,500,000.

Property records Your Mama accessed–as well as information provided by Miss Briand–shows that the new owner is tee-vee writer Matt Tarses and his wife Kathleen who actually closed on the property in mid June, 2010. They paid $4,000,000. A few quick flicks of the well worn beads of our bejeweled abacus shows that Miz Johansson-Reynolds took an astonishing three million dollar financial bath on the transaction not counting renovation costs and the fat real estate fees that could have easily cost her another two hundred ground.

Poor Miz Johansson-Reynolds is quickly developing bad habit of losing money on her real estate impulses. In January of 2006 she paid $1,950,000 for a 1,300 square foot loft style apartment at 66 Leonard street in New York City’s TriBeCa neighborhood that she sold in April of 2008 for, according to records, $1,898,000. According to The Easter Bunny, Miz Johansson-Reynolds and her hunky huzband have hightailed it to New York City where in April of 2008 she splashed out $2,100,000 for a 2 bedroom and 2 pooper penthouse apartment on East 53rd Street.

Although Your Mama knows nuthin‘ more than the whispers and rumbles we’ve read online and in the tabs, the comely couple are said to have recently picked up a farmette in the oil ravaged state of Louisiana that they’re doing over with some eco-friendly this and thats including solar heating. Well, good for them if it’s true.

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