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SELLER: Dr. Phil and Robin McGraw
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $16,500,000
SIZE: 11,036 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Way back in early April of 2008, amid much speculation that Dr. Phil McGraw and his Stand By Your Man wifey Robin were on a fast train to Splitsville, Your Mama heard from no fewer than three real estate snitches who whispered in our big ear that the tee-vee psychologist–or whatever he is–had quietly floated his big Beverly Hills, CA mansion on the market as a pocket listing. A pocket listing, for all those not familiar with the term, means that the McGraw mansion was never officially on the market. However, according to Kenny Kissentell, one of Your Mama’s saucier and more piquant canaries, the still married couple were quietly seeking offers in the $16-18,000,000 range.

Your Mama isn’t sure if Mister and Missus McGraw fielded any offers for their Bev Hills estate but clearly they did not sell the property because now, more than two years after we first heard the real estate rumors of the pocket listing, Mister and Missus McGraw have officially heaved their hulking Mediterranean villa on the market with an asking price of $16,500,000.

Now listen chickens, in the interest of full disclosure Your Mama should say right off the bat that we’re not much of a fan of Dr. Phil–who is not actually a medical doctor of any kind–nor do we care for his particular brand of tough talking psycho-babble hyperbole delivered in the most dramatic fashion possible in order to keep the television viewing audience from getting bored and flipping the channel to one of the many soap stories that plug up the airwaves during the mid-day hours. Here’s our real beef puppies, we fear deep in our soul that what happens on Dr. Phil’s program gets mistaken by his vast audience for actual therapy and, puppies, real therapy it is not. Perhaps we’re not giving credit to his fans who may very well be able to properly discern television from therapy. None the less feel that Dr. Phil’s program of “get real” advice gives the false and potentially damaging illusion that complex emotional quandaries and divisive marital dilemmas can be fixed in just 40-42 minutes, the real length of most 1 hour long shows minus the time it takes for commercials.

And too, we find it strange and creepy that Not A Medical Dr. Phil recently had his bushy beast of a ‘stache shaved off–on national television–by none other than Oprah Winfrey, the woman responsible for foisting Dr. Phil onto the world. Lo-ward have mercy butter beans, does no one have any sense of decency or shame anymore? Maybe next time The Big O can take a pumice stone to his heels or maybe she’ll use him as a model to illustrate how best to manscape your man’s chest carpet.

Anyhoo, property records and other reports reveal that The Big O’s talk television prodigy and his wife Robin purchased their Bev Hills property back in December of 2002 for around $7,500,000…in cash. While listing information for the .72 acre estate does not indicate the square footage of the McGraw manse, the tax man shows it measures 11,036 square feet and includes 8 bedrooms and 7 poopers including a master suite with sitting area, private balcony, and two lavish poopers and custom fitted dressing rooms. For what it’s worth, we previously reported that the house had 9 bedrooms and 8 full and 2 half poopers but, in all honestly, our boozy-woozy brain just can’t recall from where we got those numbers.

Information we received a couple of years ago from our trio of blabbermouthing birdies indicates the house includes a number of celebrity-style features like a double height rotunda entrance hall with diamond pattern stone flooring and sweeping dual staircases for making dramatic entrances (and exits), a screening room, natch, a billiards room, his and hers offices, staff quarters, and a beauty boo-teek where Dr. Phil could have his pate polished in private.

Other amenities of the completely walled and double-gated property located in what is arguably the best part of Beverly Hills include, according to listing information, a double height formal living room, formal dining room, library, family room, a colossal kitchen, and a half-circle shaped breakfast room with dizzying mirrored walls. There is also a media/music room, den, a home fitness center, covered parking for 5 cars, 3 fireplaces (in the den, library and master boo-dwar), and a detached 2 bedroom guest casita.

A wide and lavishly planted dining terrace extends off the back of the house with an outdoor fireplace and media center for staring at the boob-toob al fresco. A pathway descends to the large, rectangular shaped swimming pool that has kooky and kind of disturbing statues standing at the corners, and a raised, circular spa where Not A Medical Dr. Phil can soak away the stress of dealing with everyone else’s stress on the boob-toob. What 16,500,000 smackers will not get you in the case of Dr. and Missus Phil’s pile is a tennis court, which is a real shame because as fer as Your Mama is concerned 16,500,000 in Beverly Hills ought to buy a tennis court or at least a long, gated celebrity style driveway and the sort of view that will curl the toes of even the most jaded Angelino.

Where, oh where will Dr. Phil go now Your Mama hears the children asking? Well, in truth we don’t know. But if Your Mama had to choose a Los Angeles location for Dr. Phil to next reside it would be an even bigger spread up in Beverly Park because Dr. Phil just seems like the sort of fellow who would get his real estate jollies off on living up in Beverly Park.

What we do know is that whomever snatches up Dr. Phil’s real estate sloppy seconds will have a whole host of rich and famous neighbors including Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos, Guess? founder Georges Marciano who lives in Shirley Temple’s old Sunset Boulevard mansion, and right behind Dr. Phil’s house sits Le Palais du Couchant, the recently completed 3-story, 36,000 square foot “French-Palladian” pile built by commercial real estate mogul Frederick C. Wehba that’s currently listed at a teeth chattering $68,500,000.

photos from Hilton & Hyland listing