Hey Publicists: I Am Not Your Frat Brother

Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know.

“Hey, B.,” one began.

“Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another.

This is a relatively recent trend, presumably designed to lure journalists into entertaining a pitch before they realize it. I’m waiting for one that starts out, “Hey, how’s the family? We should really get together for dinner soon. You haven’t called in awhile. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d be interested in talking to one of the executives at Gurgle-tech about the latest gizmo that’s going to revolutionize TV….”

So hey, flacks, here’s a friendly suggestion from your old pal: If you don’t know me, don’t pretend like you do. This may come as a surprise, but I gave up on imaginary friends several years ago, and acting like we’re bosom buddies when we’re not doesn’t do anything except make it that much more likely that I will hit “delete” before bothering to read your email.

Anyway, thanks for listening. And be sure to give my best to, you know, whoever.

More Voices

  • Hollywood Safe Workplace

    Why Hollywood Needs to Lead the Way in Showing How to Create a Safer Workplace

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Seven Seconds

    Fighting the Racial Bias at the Core of Hollywood’s Cop Shows (Guest Column)

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Harvey Weinstein Trial

    Column: Documentarian Barry Avrich Ponders Whether Harvey Weinstein Will Be Convicted

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Janet Mock Pose

    'Pose' Writer Janet Mock on Making History With Trans Storytelling (Guest Column)

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Tony Awards Sightlines Column

    How to Produce the Tony Awards: 5 Unsolicited Tips

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Under the Silver Lake

    Cannes 2018's Hidden Thrill: The Opportunity to Find New Voices

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

  • Kathryn Bigelow Kathryn Bigelow poses backstage

    It's Time for Action, Not Promises, to Get More Women in Filmmaking (Guest Column)

    Forgive this bit of indulgence in a pet peeve (though this is a blog, after all), but I receive a ridiculous number of email pitches lately that begin with personalized messages — from people who I don’t know. “Hey, B.,” one began. “Hey Brian, How’s it going?” said another. This is a relatively recent trend, presumably […]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content