‘Grey’s’ most bizzarre medical maladies

The 10 strangest cases writers have concocted

The docs at Seattle Grace have treated hysterical pregnancies, fractured penises, exploding arteries, fatal hiccups and babies born with hearts on the outside — and those aren’t even the strangest cases they’ve encountered. Here are 10 of the most bizarre medical maladies writers have concocted in the first 100 episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy”:

1. “If Tomorrow Never Comes” (season one): A woman with a 69-pound tumor protruding from her abdomen faces slim chances under the knife. She also faces the disgust and criticism of a judgmental Alex, who doesn’t understand why she waited so long to seek treatment.

2. “Into You Like a Train” (season two): Two train-wreck victims — a beautiful young woman and a middle-aged father — are impaled by a pole. Removing the pole will kill one and probably both. The doctors must extract it from the person with better odds first.

3. “As We Know It” (season two): A WWII re-enactor is accidentally shot with his homemade bazooka, leaving live, unexploded ammunition in his chest. The shaky hand of an EMT (guest star Christina Ricci) inside his torso keeps it all together; Meredith slips her hand in later.

4. “Oh the Guilt” (season three): Sexually adventurous exes are literally stuck together after the (remarried) woman’s IUD hooks onto her ex-husband’s penile piercing, locking the couple “woman on top.”

5. “Wishin’ and Hopin'” (season three): A woman battling cancer mysteriously sickens dozens of hospital staffers treating her before George deduces poison in her blood — the result of her chemotherapy drugs mixing with herbal supplements to form a deadly neurotoxin that fells everyone who comes in contact with her blood.

6. “Desire” (season three): Two words: “Penis Fish.” One of showrunner Shonda Rhimes’ personal faves follows Seattle Grace’s wealthy board chairman, who returns from a trip to the Amazon with grossly swollen genitals due to a carnivorous parasite that’s lodged itself into his penis. The wriggling visitor finally emerges in the operating room.

7. “Freedom, Part 1” (season four): Hoping to impress a pretty classmate, a teenager jumps into cement that hardens around his body. With a ton of concrete poisoning his organs and burning his skin, the docs struggle to keep him alive while firefighters race to free him.

8. “Before and After” (season five): In “Grey’s”-“Private Practice” crossover episodes, Derek agrees to perform a risky brain surgery on his ex-wife Addison’s brother, a neurologist infected with seemingly inoperable parasitic worms growing in his brain.

9. “In the Midnight Hour” (season five): After a hypochondriac takes illegally purchased antibiotics to treat a pimple, she develops a severe bacterial infection. The only cure? A fecal transplant to reintroduce good bacteria to her system. The husband withholds his poop, however, until she admits her neuroses.

10. “Stand by Me” (season five): In a storyline borrowed from recent headlines, Mark preps to perform one of the country’s first face transplants on an accident survivor the interns dub “Blowhole.” The surgery memorably depicts the surgeons harvesting the donated face.