UPDATE: Victoria Gotti

Ooo-wee children, some one’s big olblond weave is all in a tangle today for sure…

Back in late December of 2008, Your Mama discussed the terrifying Long Island mansion of mobbed up mommy/writer/reality tee-vee star Victoria Gotti which she had on the market with an asking price of $3,500,000. The property has been for sale on and off for a number of years with an asking price as high as $4,800,000. Thanks to the Long Island Loleeda we’ve recently learned that it’s currently priced at a significantly lower $2,300,000.

The Gotti estate, which includes a swimming pool, tennis court, stables, guesthouse, a tacky fountain or two, and a damn go-kart trak, stretches over four acres in the blue-blooded and old money enclave of Old Westbury, NY where it sits up against the very busy and disturbingly loud Long Island Expressway. Okay, we confess, the property doesn’t actually butt up to the Long Island Expressway, there’s a service road between the property at the expressway which means it’s just a couple hundred feet at best from the expressway.

Anyhoo, the single mother of three disrespectful and spikey haired sons–who all proved themselves to be virtually incapable of stringing a complete sentence together on their thankfully canceled reality program Growing Up Gotti–has not managed to secure a buyer with taste sufficiently impaired to cough up a few million clams for the 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom architectural crime spree.

Not only has that Miz Gotti been stuck living up in this real estate white elephant that no one wants to buy, according to the folks at New York Post (via CityFile), bee-hawtcha stopped paying her damn mortgage way back in September of 2006 and now owes her bank a reported $650,000, a sitcheeay-shun which tends to get the bank people all kinds of pissed off. After much legal wrangling, her bank has won the right boot Miz Gotti from her gaudy house of interior dee-zine horrors and try to sell the eyesore at auction.

As the children might expect, Miz Gotti ain’t in the mood to be chit-chatting with the press about her financial pickle or about J.P. Morgan Chase giving her the heave-ho from her home. However, her mother seems to have a thing or two to say on the matter and is blaming the entire brouhaha on Miz Gotti’s ex-husband Carmine Agnello declaring in the New York Post that, “The creep that he is, he took out a mortgage behind her back. She can’t afford to pay.”

Because Your Mama never likes to see anyone forced from their home, we’d like to offer poor Miz Gotti a little advice for scaring up some income in order to pay the rent on her new digs, wherever they may be. The powers that be are not going to let that moeron ex-governer of Illinois Rod Blagojevich participate in the next season of reality boob-toob disaster I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here. This means, of course, there’s a spot open in the cast of seriously questionable characters that includes ex-model turned scary-faced plastic surgery disaster Janice Dickinson, hairrific American Idol reject Sanjaya Malakar and that obscene publicity slut Spencer Pratt and his no-talent wifey Heidi Montag. If we were Miz Gotti, which praize jeezis we are not, we’d have our agent on the horn yesterday begging the producers to put our 40-something year old ass on an airplane and let our outta control weave battle it out with the jungle in Costa Rica with all the other d-list celebrities desperate for a paycheck. Just a thought.

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