We’ve got a few celebrity real estate items we need to get off our chest.

In early March of 2009 singer/actor/songwriter Jessie McCartney listed his house in the Hills of Hollywood for lease at $4,900 per month. While Your Mama has no idea if anyone actually leased the modernized 2 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom cottage, we do know that the entertainment mini-mogul who currently appears on some program we’ve never heard of called GRΣΣK, recently listed the modest and comfortable looking La Granada Drive domicile for sale with an asking price of $1,199,000.

Last week, Your Mama discussed the real estate melodrama facing toothy Manhattan socialite Marisa Noel Brown and her (former) financier husband Matt who bought an East 78th Street townhouse in January of 2008 for $13,500,000, gutted it, had plans drawn up for a multi-million dollar renovation and just last week flipped it back on the market with a much lower than they bought it for asking price of $12,000,000.

At the time we discussed the brouhaha, we had not seen the floor plan but since then a plan has popped up and since Your Mama knows all the children love them a little floor plan porn we figured it might be fun to peruse the plans Missus Noel Brown had for her new crib before the primary (if not sole) source of their riches–her father’s failed hedge fund–went belly up.

A quick peep over the layout (below) tells Your Mama that Mister and Missus Brown hired the right architect for the job because for a somewhat narrow townhouse the floor plan appears well resolved, easily lived in and almost entirely free of the funky formations and awkward transitions too frequently seen in these skinny New York City townhouses.
Of special note is the full floor master with a generously sized sitting room that looks to Your Mama’s boozy eyeballs to have two fireplaces, a bedroom that features a large if not exactly private window looking out over the wee gardens behind all the neighboring properties and a long dressing area and bath that connects the two spaces.

We would also like to point out that both the elevator and the elegantly oval staircase service all seven floors, that each of the 5 family bedrooms has a private pooper as do the 4th floor study and the garden level staff room which is, we have to say, punishingly puny. Up on the top floor we’re thrilled to see not only a front facing terrace that probably has a sliver view of Central Park, but also an outdoor kitchen for summertime grillin‘ and chillin‘.

We’re sure the new owner will want to hire their own architect and put their own stamp on the design, but they might consider saving themselves a few pennies by working with the plans Mister and Missus Brown’s plans because they’re good. We know y’all like to sass and complain but you do gotta admit, they are good.

We do not normally discuss properties featured in films because they don’t generally belong to rich and famous people. However, since we have been getting dozens of emails about the glassy suburban Chicago house featured in Ferris Bueller’s day off that has been listed for sale at $2,300,000, we’re going to flip you over to Mister Big Time who has all the 411 anyone might want on the stunning property that is in serious need of a complete restoration/redo.

In late February of 2009, Your Mama discussed the 21 terlit Bel Air behemoth that noted philanthropist and art patron Iris Cantor heaved onto the market with a toe curling asking price of $53,000,000. Turns out the ladeee has also listed a New York City penthouse (floor plan below) with an asking price of $11,900,000.
Missus Cantor, for those who do not know, is the wildly rich widow of Bernie Cantor, the founder of the financial services firm Cantor Fitzgerald. Some of the children will recognize the Cantor (Fitzgerald) name as the company that suffered devastating human losses on 9/11 due to their location on the 101st-105th floors of One World Trade Center. Others will recognize the Cantor name from one of New York City’s greatest outdoor treasures, the sooblime Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Anyhoo, as pointed out by Mister Abelson at the NY Observer, the real story isn’t that The Widda Cantor listed the 3,906 square foot co-operative at 110 Central Park South. Oh no. The juicy news is that she bought the 4 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom spread in May of 2006 for “about $15,000,000” and, as mentioned above, currently has it on the market at $11,900,000. Missus. Cantor’s wizened real estate agent told Mister Abelson that Mrs. Cantor never occupied the 24th floor apartment that carries colossal monthly maintenance of $13,500.

Listing information on StreetEasy shows that Mrs. Cantor listed the 4-terrace aerie in May of 2008 with an asking price of $16,000,000. Four months later the price was hacked to $14,000,000 and just last week she had a go at the asking price again, chopping off $2,100,000 bringing the current number to $11,900,000 which is somewhere around $3,000,000 less than she paid for the place. Less!

Now surely Missus Cantor can afford to lose three million clams without having to go on the food stamps. However, Your Mama does not care how rich a person may be, it still hurts like the dickens to lose three million smackers on an ill-timed real estate purchase.

P.S. Iffin eleven and some million isn’t in your budget but you still want to live up in 110 Central Park South, listing information indicates that Missus Cantor would also be willing to lease the apartment at $35,000 per month.

We hear from Babbling Babette that American Idol judge and (former?) pill popper Paula Abdul is house hunting. In Tarzana, CA. It is Your Mama’s understanding that she made a three million dollar offer on a house in the guard gated Mulholland Park community which was not accepted. Ugh. Yawn. Whaaaat?

We also hear from a gentleman we’ll call Famous Freddie that word on New York City’s West 12th Street is that Scientolofreak Tom Cruise and his baby maker Katie Cruise bought a mid-block townhouse that records reveal recently sold for $15,075,000. Now children, Your Mama has zero confirmation about whether there is any truth to this real estate tale so do not go speaking on this like it’s gospel. It’s just rumor and gossip at this point. Besides, we always took Mister Cruise as the full-service doorman building type of guy rather than a townhouse sort of fella if only because a townhouse would put him at the mercy of doorbell ditchers and fervent fans who might think it’s cute to stand out front of the building flashing their naughty bits and hollering about how much they loved Top Gun.

And lastly, Your Mama received a very lovely and friendly email from a ladee named Lynne Langdon who is the listing agent (and owner) of a house in the Hollywood Hills we discussed earlier this week. She kindly asked that we correct a error regarding the listing information indicating the house is “celebrity owned.” See kids, we thought the celebrity being referred to was Miz Langdon, who was indeed a bit of a star in China as it turns out. However, the celebrity Miz Langdon was referring to in the listing, she says, is her huzband, a celebrity photographer named Harry Langdon who may not be much of a household name himself but has snapped photographs of and head short for dozens of famous folks including Aretha Franklin, Tyranosaurus Banks, Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ryan Seacrest and Mister Missy Elliot, Halle Berry and Christina Applegate.