BUYER: Olivia Newton John and John Easterling
LOCATION: Lighthouse Drive, Jupiter, FL
SIZE: 5,500 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: On blue water, no fixed bridges, just a few doors from the Jupiter Inlet, dockage, on over an acre of property, magnificent views of the Jupiter Lighthouse.

YYOUR MAMAS NOTES: Sometime in 2005 Olivia Newton John’s man-friend Patrick McDermott went missing under suspicious circumstances. The poor dear was like a rowboat without an oar until she met and got Physical with herbal supplement pusher John Easterling who swept the Aussie icon off her feet and right out of Malee-boo to the swampy state of Florida.

In late 2007, long before decamping for the other coast, Miz Newton John listed her Malee-boo estate with an asking price of $14,000,000. There were no takers and eventually the priced was sliced and diced to $11,495,000. In December of 2008 the property was finally sold to for an undisclosed amount of money that we heard (but can not confirm) was in the ten million smackers range.

Shortly thereafter, in February of 2009, there was all sorts of scuttlebutt on the gossip glossies on on the tabloid talk programs about Miz Newton John and Mister Easterling backing out of a deal to purchase a $2,250,000 house in Tequesta, FL. There was talk of lawsuits and all sides claimed innocence, blah blah blah. That bit of legal brouhaha is, apparently, pending.

Then we started getting all sorts of email from fans of the newly married Miz Newton John wanting to know where she was and what she was buying and what kind of damn terlit paper she uses. Well children, as is often the case, we knew not a thing. That is, until today when we received a covert communique from a Flawreeduh Fannie who hooked us up with a recent article in something called the TC Palm (no link to the article that we could locate) which reported that Mizz Newton John and Mister Easterling finally found a house to buy after many months of searching high and low.

The house, according to the article and also according to the listing we managed to scare up on the interweb, sits on a 1-plus acre water front lot in the Jupiter Inlet Colony community. The light blue house measures approximately 5,500 square feet according to property records (and 7,000 square feet according to the TC Palm) and includes 4 bedroom and 4 bathrooms.

The house was last listed at $4,200,000 and the TC Palm people reported they couple are paying somewhere in the $4.1 million range. Information on the property is somewhat slim but we were able to glean from the listing and report that there is dockage for a boat or two, garaging for three automobiles, has a tin roof and is dog friendly. There are split bedrooms (whatever that means) including a master with a Roman tub (lahrd help us all) and at least one walk in closet. The living room is large with a vaulted wood beamed ceilings that rise a parapet like space with windows which we imagine help to suck out the hot sticky air in the summertime. The kitchen looks country with green cabinets, plate racks and granite counter tops.

Records show the seller is John Zuccarelli, the third term mayor of Tequesta or Jupiter or some other town around there, bought the property in June of 1995 for just $730,000, rebuilt it to be his Barbie dream house and sold it on at a large profit to Olivia Newton John for her new Xanadu.

Now that all you Olivia fans and super fans know that she’s settling into Tequesta for the long haul, stop emailing Your Mama wanting to know about her whereabouts. And stay away from her new house too because I can promise you this ladee does not want some ignoramus standing outside her gates, ringing her bell, waving a frayed and glossy photo of her from Grease in the air and hoping for an damn autograph.

Now then. We’re through. Through with talking about Miz Newton Johns real estate doings and through with the day because it’s time to load up the big BMW and head out to Your Mama’s daddy’s ranch in the middle of Nowhere, CA for a weekend of gin and tonic drinking by the pool.