Nicole Richie Settling Down in Laurel Canyon

BUYER: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,912,000 (asking)
SIZE: 5,380 square feet, 4 bedrooms 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Privately hidden behind gates, this walled compound is one of Laurel Canyon’s largest! Extensively renovated with contemporary design focus, the ambiance is Aspen Lodge meets Tropical Paradise. Soaring ceilings w/ huge sky dome adds dramatic sunlight. Full guesthouse becomes screening theatre. Marvelous eat-in kitchen. Lagoon pool features Key West cantina. Motor court & garage parking…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While that naughty Paris Hilton curses Cannes with her dirty dancing, wanton ways and vulgar public displays of sexual affection with her reality tee-vee star boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, her old paper thin BFF Nicole Richie is out making babies and buying houses in Los Angeles’ traditionally bohemian enclave of Laurel Canyon.

Last summer it was widely reported that Miss Richie and her baby daddy–rocker Joel Madden from Good Charlotte–were out hunting for a new house. Not finding anything to their immediate liking they temporarily settled into a lovely Spanish style casa on Outpost Drive even though Mister Madden owns a big house in hot as Hades Glendale, CA where they surely could have shacked up and saved some money until finding their dream house. But money is not an object for Miss Richie whose father is, of course, the wildly rich crooner Lionel Richie who has enough moolah to keep all the children in over-priced rental properties. Anyhoo, with Miss Richie preggers with bottle nipper number two, having a house they could call home became a priority and after searching far and wide the tattooed twosome finally settled on a 5,380 square foot house in Laurel Canyon that carried an asking price of $1,999,000.

Property records and previous reports show that the 4 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom house was purchased from retired professional footballer Mike Croel for $1,912,000. Given that Mister Croel, who now works as a graphic designer, paid just $875,000 for the house in 2003, it would seem he and the wifey made off nicely in the deal.

Listing information indicates the walled and gated property is an unexpected (and not particularly successful) combination of “Aspen Lodge” and “Tropical Paradise.” Now children, Your Mama is all for eclectic architecture and day-core, but there are some styles that are simply not meant to go together, and Aspen ski chalet and Key West Conch are two of them. No. No. No.

The woodsy interiors are full of towering ceilings, heavy beams, large sky lights (or sky domes according to listing information), 4 fireplaces, wood floors and large windows and sliding glass doors that open to the lush (tropical) landscaping in the back yard that includes a lagoon style swimming pool and spa, flag stone terracing and something called a “Key West cantina.” Somewhere is a separate guest house that converts to a screening room which is a good thing because, let’s be honest chickens, unlike regular people, Tinseltown types are seldom satisfied with just a big boob-toob in the family room.

If Your Mama is being truthful, and we always are, we’d whisper to the children that this house is a hot mess of wacky roof lines and counter-intuitive landscaping, but we’d also have to admit that in that this is a lot of damn house for the money (in Los Angeles) and in that sense Miss Richie and Mister Madden did quite well for themselves.

Your Mama wishes the Richie/Maddens well in their new home and ask they remember to invite Your Mama to the big house warming because we have a few words of wisdom we’d like to offer that Hilton girl.

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