SELLER: LeVar Burton
LOCATION: Stoneridge Place, Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $1,850,000
SIZE: 4,987 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular Spanish Estate view home nestled in the hills of SO Longridge Estates. 5 BRs & office & 6 BA. 5th BR guest suite w/ fireplace, private entrance. Grand entry w/ formal DR. LR w/ firplce, opens to the heart of the home: a chef’s kitchen w/ state of the art appliances. Main patio w/ built in firplce, BBQ, stunning Views. Romantic MA BR suite w/ firplce, walk-in closet, spa bath w/ room shower. Swimmers pool w/ grassy lawn, majestic trees. A peaceful oasis above the city lights.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day Your Mama was at the hair salon getting a new do when we received a text message from our wonderfully chatty tipster Babbling Babette who pointe dus towards a house in the hills above Sherman Oaks, CA. A little investigation and a leg up from Lucy Spillerguts educated Your Mama that that house on Stoneridge Place is owned by actor LeVar Burton and listed for sale with an asking price of $1,850,000.

Although we are not a SciFi fan and we had no idea who Mister Burton is, a sweep across the interweb told us he may best be known by the peeps (and certainly by the Trekkies) for his many years as Captain Geordi La Forge on the Star Trek franchise. Among his many other boob-toob achievements are his portrayal of Kunta Kinte in the spectacular 1977 series Roots and most notably for hosting Reading Rainbow, the highly acclaimed and award winning children’s boob toob program promoting literacy for which he’s earned a slew of Daytime Emmy Awards that he not very modestly displays on the mantle in his living room. Like many actors, Mister Burton also directs and his turn at the helm includes several episodes of Charmed, a good number of Star Trek episodes and, back in the late 1980s, The Tiger Woods Story.

Property records indicate Mister Burton bought his shack in Sherman Oaks’ Longridge Estates area way back in June of 1996 when he paid $1,475,000 for the 4,987 square foot Spanish style casa. Listing information reveals Mister Burton’s crib includes 5 bedrooms and 6 poopers as well as an office which looks like he actually uses it as an office. Listing information described Mister Burton’s property as a “Spanish Estate” and while we’ll grant that this white stuccoed and tiled roofed residence fits the mold of a Southern California Spanish style house, it’s not really what Your Mama would call an estate if only because the front facade sits right up on road on the quiet culde-sac. We usually reserve the description “estate” for homes on large parcels that sit well off the street and not one in which the neighbors can stroll by and have a look-see right into the damn living room.

Anyhoo, there is, according to listing information, a “grand entry” which leads to a formal dining room and a large living room with a vaulted wood beamed ceiling, honey colored wood floors and that fireplace with all those aforementioned Emmy’s to impress the guests. The living room is open to the kitchen which also features a vaulted wood beamed ceiling, Shaker style cabinetry with dated but still appropriate for the style white tile counter tops, a work island with a butcher block counter top and an unusual and not particularly pleasant yellow green paint treatment. Green may be the color of money but trust Your Mama when we say it is not a good color for kitchens or bathrooms.

In addition to a master suite with banal beige wall to wall, a Home Despot style ceiling fan, big fireplace, and out of context Early American four poster bed, there are 4 other sleeping chambers including a guest suite which, according to listing information, features a fireplace and private entrance which is just perfect for all Your Mama’s friends like Fiona Trambeau and Queen Victoria who have a tendency to come creeping home late at night with company in tow. Larhd have mercy if we could count the number of times we awoke on a glittery morning only to find one of Miss Trambeau’s many unsavory guests sitting at the kitchen table looking like he’d been run over by a Mack truck (which, in a way, he had been), Your Mama would be a multi-millionaire.

Several wide saltillo tiled terraces with long views over the pancake flat San Fernando Valley towards the rugged and fire prone San Gabriel Mountains surround the back of Mister Burton’s house. The main terrace, according to listing information, includes a built in barbecue and an outdoor fireplace for warming those 14 nippy nights every winter. A series of stairs and terraces tumble down the back of the property to the saltillo tiled pool deck that encircles a long narrow swimming pool and spa. This is all very lovely and we love how it’s all tucked into the trees and foliage but Your Mama would have a damn heart attack trying to climb all them stairs back up to the main house to refresh our gin and tonic or use the pooper. Iffin we were Mister Burton, which we are not, and even though they are unsightly and unsanitary, we’d have installed a damn Porta-Potty down there and then finagled a permit from the city to build a proper changing room and terlit.

Your Mama has no idea where Mister Burton is headed, but as he’s getting on up there into middle aged, we imagine he’s looking for a house with a swimming pool in a location that won’t give him a coronary. Whatever the case, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter wish Mister Burton and family all the best in their next real estate endeavor.