SELLER: Justin Berfield
LOCATION: Lorena Drive, Calabasas, CA
PRICE: $3,995,000
SIZE: 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …Situated in a guard-gated community, this privately gated home has been impeccably remodeled. The towering entryway has an exquisite wrought iron staircase & zen-like fountain while the open floor plan showcases the walls of windows. Exceptional amenities include: a restaurant style wine cellar, home theater & recording studio/gym. Chef s kitchen w/state-of-the art stainless steel appls. & can accommodate either intimate dining or a large catered event….

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is working on all ferreting out the 411 on a number of interesting celebrity real estate transactions, but we’ve yet to nail any of them down solidly enough to discuss them. So rather than look like a fool who does not know what we’re talking about (which we admit sometimes happens despite out efforts not to), we’re going to piggy back on the recent report of the lovely Ann Brenoff at the Los Angeles Times who revealed that former Malcom in the Middle actor turned producer Justin Berfield listed his Calabasas crib for $3,995,000.

If the children will put on their thinking caps, they might recall that young Mister Berfield only purchased the property in January of 2006 for $3,750,000 from deevorcing newlyweds Nick Lachey and that poor Jessica Simpson gurl who can’t seem to stop her career from its slow and sad slide down the Tinseltown terlit. The former couple filmed their reality program Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica in this house and it was the scene of many embarrassing moments for the former Miz Lachey who Your Mama sincerely hopes is smarter than she appeared to be on that program.

Mister Berfield’s “Trendy Contemporary Estate” above Lorena Drive in one of the many gated communities that surround the Calabasas Golf and Country Club. The house shares a driveway with an adjacent vacant buildable parcel that is owned by someone who is not Mister Berfield, Mister Lachey or Miss Simpson. Our tattletell tells us that Mister Berfield has a first right of refusal to purchase the land if the owner chooses to sell. Who knows if that right of refusal will transfer to the new owner. But if not, the current owners could build a big house that would likely share the gates and driveway to Mister Berfields house. Make sense?

Property records and listing information show the recently rehabbed, quasi-Mediterranean style mansion measures 6,483 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. Each of the bedrooms features its own private pooper and the master suite is comprised of a bedroom, a sitting area with fireplace, a big ol‘ bathroom, spacious walk in closets and a private balcony with views over the tiled roofs of all the other quasi-Mediterranean style mansions that line the gated streets that surround the Calabasas Golf and Country Club.

The meant to impress the guests rotunda entrance hall features a curving staircase with wrought iron details and a “zen-like fountain.” Other amenities include formal living and dining rooms, a gore-may kitchen with state of the art stainless steel appliances, a wine cellar, home theater and a room that, apparently, does double duty as a recording studio and a gym.

Listing information also shows the back yard includes a “dramatic pool & overflow spa,” whatever that is, as well as a “draped cabana & hotel style lounging areas.” Sounds like Mister Berfield and his nice gay decorator have gone hog wild turning what is really a very ordinary, if very expensive, crib in Calabasas into a wonderland perfect for a bevy barely dressed babes to lay around and hope young Mister Berfield can get them on the boob-toob.

According to Miz Brenoff, 23-year old former child actor wants to unload his suburban mansion so that he can move to the glittery shores of Malee-boo where he’ll have easier access to the offices of the film and tee-vee companies he formed in Venice.

Popular on Variety